IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

There is a tendency that people change their jobs rapidly and frequently than before. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development

Work
Use synonyms
 plays a central role in our lives
,
Punctuation problem
;
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Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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 we sometimes switch
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 more quickly than before.
While
Linking Words
 a variety of factors may lead to
change
Correct article usage
a change
show examples
 in our
jobs
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, I believe that
change
Replace the word
changing
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 rapidly
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
usually is
Correct word order
is usually
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 a positive development in the future. There are several reasons why
people
Use synonyms
 change
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
 rapidly nowadays.
Firstly
Linking Words
, most
people
Use synonyms
 want to accumulate
work
Use synonyms
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
. For
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for example
Linking Words
, the
freshman
Fix the agreement mistake
freshmen
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 of society need to increase their abilities and practical experience
,
Punctuation problem
;
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hence
Linking Words
, they
didn’t
Wrong verb form
don’t
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 like to stay at the same company for more than two years.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some workers hope to get higher salaries than before, if another company gives
extra
Correct article usage
an extra
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 bonus or more award money, which must attract
people
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 to go there.
Finally
Linking Words
, many adults like to challenge themselves through altering their
jobs
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,
such
Linking Words
 as the doctor working in
the
Correct article usage
a
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 small clinic in advance,
then
Linking Words
 they desire to take on more tasks
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 they decide to
work
Use synonyms
 in a big hospital. What’s more, changing
jobs
Use synonyms
 speedily is a positive development. By transforming
work
Use synonyms
,
people
Use synonyms
 would gain valuable experience in different working environments, which could help to build their
self confidence
Use the right word
self-confidence
show examples
 and enhance their skills. Having
such
Linking Words
 experience and abilities may
make
Verb problem
help
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 them achieve their goals
further
Linking Words
.
Likewise
Linking Words
, in modern society, many
people
Use synonyms
 tend to have different abilities to use in various fields, so they cross different types of
jobs
Use synonyms
 to learn the skills.
For instance
Linking Words
, a secretary not only needs to arrange timetables but
also
Linking Words
 can fix the machine or any damaged tools. In conclusion, changing
work
Use synonyms
 quickly is a trend in the future.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that we would gain more useful
capability
Fix the agreement mistake
capabilities
show examples
 via switching
jobs
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Work on a clear main idea in every paragraph. State your view early and keep it steady. Add more strong examples to prove each point.
coherence
Use simple links to connect ideas, like 'also', 'next', 'but', 'however'. This helps flow.
structure
The essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
content
The author gives several reasons and a main view.
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