IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays,many large cities suffer from traffic jams.What are causes?What are suggestions?

In recent years,the number of
traffic
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 congestions has risen dramatically,primally
due to
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 the skyrocketed number of cars,inefficient road schemes and poor public
transport
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 .
Although
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 there are tough challenges to solve,I firmly believe these issues can be tackled through some strategies
such
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 as intense development of mass
transit
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systems
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,parking
systems
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 for cars and urban decentralisation.
This
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 essay will determine the causes of
traffic
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congestion
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 and propose practical methods. One of the key contributors to
traffic
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jams
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 is the underdeveloped urban
transit
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 system.It is evident that people will rather drive to the checkpoint in a comfortable car than insufficient
transit
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 system or
metro
Correct article usage
the metro
show examples
.Not only that,some stations can demand a special card for usage, which should be underlined,and requires money.
Furthermore
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,the condition of
roads
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 should be highlighted as well.Prolonged
traffic
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jams
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 mostly happen on tight
roads
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 and mismanagement of
traffic
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 signals,which leads to inconvenience and wasted time.
According to
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 statistics,the city of Mexico( Mexico) had been ranked first in 2024 for overloaded
roads
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,mainly
due to
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 these issues.Another major factor is job opportunities in urban centres.These facilities are often pretty close to each other , which provokes urban
congestion
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. Despite these challenges,
traffic
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jams
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 can be reduced through measures
such
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 as improvement of infrastructures(
roads
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,
traffic
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 signals,etc),
transit
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systems
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 and urban decentralisation.
Initially
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,the government should incorporate and upgrade the practicality, bus and metro arrangements,and convenience to enhance and encourage citizens to use
more public
Correct word order
public transport more
show examples
transport
Use synonyms
.Following that,they should upgrade parking management and expand,
due to
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 the rising car index.
Finally
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,the government should decentralise the city and allocate business centres,buildings,and job facilities all over the city,which not only may reduce urban
congestion
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,but
also
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 create new job opportunities in suburban areas, which will positive effect on the economy as well. In conclusion,
while
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traffic
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congestion
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 remains a significant public issue and comfort caused by factors like an underdeveloped public
transport
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 system,a huge amount of cars,and insufficient condition of
roads
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, it can be addressed effectively by enhancing infrastructure,parking and
transport
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systems
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,and allocating marked building spaces. The negative effects of
traffic
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jams
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 can be significantly reduced

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structure
Make the plan clear in your first part. State the causes, then give the fix step by step.
content
Give more proof. Use clear facts or easier examples to back up points.
lexical
Use simple word. Some long or hard words can be left out.
grammar
Check grammar and spelling. There are many small mistakes that slow reading.
content
The topic is clear and the idea of fixing traffic is good.
structure
There is a plan and a close end.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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