IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television sets, microwave ovens and rice cookers. Do you think this is a positive or negative development？

Nowadays,
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of individuals prefer to buy
a
Correct article usage
apply
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different kinds of household items
such
Linking Words
 as television sets, microwave ovens, and rice cookers. No doubt, it saves their precious
time
Use synonyms
, and improves their standard of living, but
this
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 trend
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 their face-to-face interaction,
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 their reliance on modern techniques, and
become
Verb problem
makes them
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 materialistic as well. I think
this
Linking Words
 is a negative development. Undoubtedly, buying distinct appliances for
home
Correct article usage
the home
show examples
 is not only considered
as
Use the right word
a
show examples
 convenient option but
also
Linking Words
 improves their standard of living as well. Buying a television set is
worthy
Correct word choice
worthwhile
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 as it is a source of entertainment and
lessen
Correct subject-verb agreement
lessens
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 their stress level too, when they watch their favourite shows on television. In the same way, the microwave, ovens, and rice cookers save the precious
time
Use synonyms
 of individuals. The devices provide ease when they use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 to bake goods, boil or
cooked
Wrong verb form
cook
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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food
into
Change preposition
in
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 it. Despite these benefits, the drawbacks of
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 technology can not be ignored. Sitting all the
time
Use synonyms
 in front of the screen
lessen
Correct subject-verb agreement
lessens
show examples
 their social interaction, either with their friends or family members.
Also
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, spending hours on watching shows, movies and live cricket
match
Correct subject-verb agreement
matches
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 not only
waste
Correct subject-verb agreement
wastes
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 their precious
time
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
limited
Wrong verb form
limits
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 their thinking ability as well.
Moreover
Linking Words
, making instant dishes by using
microwave
Fix the agreement mistake
microwaves
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, ovens
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 cookers
destroy
Correct subject-verb agreement
destroys
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 the
nutrient
Replace the word
nutritional
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 facts in food,
when
Correct word choice
as
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 they heavily rely on using these appliances
instead
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 of learning how to cook food.
As a result
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, people become obese and lethargic when they get these things so easily by sitting in
the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 comfort zone.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, people spent a hefty amount on buying these cooking mechanism, which increase their spending habits
instead
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 of saving it for future emergencies. Because of that, they adopt a
consumerism
Replace the word
consumerist
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 and materialistic mindset. Even sometimes, they do not hesitate to pass their loans from financial institution to just
satify
Correct your spelling
satisfy
 their desires.
That is
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 why
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 I think it is a negative development.
To sum up
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,
while
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 household appliances offer undeniable convenience and contribute to a better standard of living,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their overuse can lead to reduced social interaction, unhealthy lifestyle habits, and increased materialism. People must strike a balance between embracing modern technology and preserving meaningful relationships, financial discipline, and personal well-being. Without
this
Linking Words
 balance, the comforts of modern living may come at the cost of deeper human values.

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Task response
Make your view clear in the first lines of the essay, then give two or three strong reasons.
Coherence
Use simple linking words to show how ideas are connected (for example, but, also, so, because). Keep one idea per line and use clear paragraphs.
Grammar
Check grammar and sentence form. Fix errors with subject-verb and plural, and keep sentences short and easy.
Lexical resource
Use simple words and phrases. Some words are too hard; simple words are better to show meaning.
position
Your overall view is clear that the trend is not good.
content
You give real idea about time saving and stress relief.
structure
Intro and conclusion present, so task is framed.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • household goods
  • television sets
  • microwave ovens
  • rice cookers
  • positive development
  • increased convenience
  • efficiency
  • improved standard of living
  • more choices
  • options
  • negative development
  • environmental impact
  • consumerism
  • materialism
What to do next:
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