IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary scenario, employment is really considerable among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people worldwide.
Therefore
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, some masses think that doing ineffective
work
Use synonyms
 is suitable to deal with
Correct article usage
the worest
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worest
Correct your spelling
worst
 circumstances.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 believe that
in
Punctuation problem
, in
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 spite of facing it, making efforts to bring certain positive development is all the
time
Use synonyms
 a better option.
This
Linking Words
 essay intends to
analysis
Replace the word
analyse
show examples
 both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prespectives
Correct your spelling
perspectives
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I incline to the former point of view.
To begin
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with
Add a comma
with,
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 the first point of view, having
inappropriate
Correct article usage
an inappropriate
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job
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
during
show examples
difficult
Correct article usage
a difficult
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time
Use synonyms
 provides stability, maintains routine, and
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
 mental health, because usually during
tough-
Use the right word
tough times
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, people
loose
Use the right word
lose
show examples
 their courage,
thus
Linking Words
 they feel hopeless and become economically and mentally unstable.
In other words
Linking Words
, when individuals encounter
rough-
Use the right word
rough times
show examples
time
Use synonyms
, they generally overthink, sometimes opt wrong path to deal with it
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 robbery,
drugs
Fix the agreement mistake
drug
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 abuse, etc.
That is
Linking Words
 why
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
unsatisfy
Correct your spelling
unsatisfactory
 employment
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 helps to cover some essential things
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 rent,
grocery
Fix the agreement mistake
groceries
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, and travel
expense
Fix the agreement mistake
expenses
show examples
Linking Words
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 well as keeps their mind occupied, which
prevent
Correct subject-verb agreement
prevents
show examples
 them
to feel
Change preposition
from feeling
show examples
healpless
Correct your spelling
helpless
 and depressed. In
this
Linking Words
 case, having structure in
day
Correct article usage
the day
show examples
 can become the lifeline
especially
Punctuation problem
, especially
show examples
 during personal or financial struggle.
For example
Linking Words
, a myriad of international students
oftrn
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
have
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
to find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
appropriate
Correct article usage
an appropriate
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job
Use synonyms
 because of working hours limitations.
As a result
Linking Words
, they select
food
Correct article usage
a food
show examples
dilevery
Correct your spelling
delivery
job
Use synonyms
, which keeps them active, engaged with
work
Use synonyms
, and
assists
Verb problem
helps
show examples
 to pay for rent and
grocery
Fix the agreement mistake
groceries
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, people must not accept unwanted
work
Use synonyms
 because it may cause not only health
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 loss the motivation. To explain it, it has been seen that when
individiuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 do not have interest
to do
Change preposition
in doing
show examples
work
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
 they usually take it like a burden and feel unhappy, which often makes them feel depressed and tired, even accepting
poor
Correct article usage
a poor
show examples
 situation means loose ambitions, creativity,and passion.
Hence
Linking Words
, workers perform unwell when they do not have value,
challanges
Correct your spelling
challenges
, and desire
with
Change preposition
for
show examples
task
Correct article usage
the task
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
show examples
 the chances of progress and limits the opportunities. What
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 mean to say, with no
interest
Punctuation problem
interest,
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 makes it hard to concentrate and learn things, workers remain stuck with the same
work
Use synonyms
 for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
, hardly
Check wording
time, hardly
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 get
time
Use synonyms
 for improvement and
looking
Wrong verb form
look for
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 better
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Such
Linking Words
 as, In the early 2000s,
Nokiam
Correct your spelling
Nokia
 did not adopt
smartphones
Fix the agreement mistake
smartphone
show examples
tecgnology
Correct your spelling
technology
quick
Replace the word
quickly
show examples
,
as a result
Linking Words
, they lost their leading position
innthe
Correct your spelling
in the
 mobile market. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 looking for
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 option is reasonable, working
unfair
Correct article usage
an unfair
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 brings support in bad
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
, provides enough
time
Use synonyms
 to develop new skills, which leads towards progress, because something is better than nothing.

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structure
Make a plan: write a short intro that says both views and your own view, then two body parts for each view, and a short conclusion. This helps the essay be clear.
coherence
Use clear links between ideas: first, also, however, for example. This will help the essay flow better.
task
Make sure you answer the task: discuss both sides and give your own view. Do not skip any part.
grammar
Keep the sentences simple. Check spelling and fix wrong words to avoid confusion.
examples
Choose specific and realistic examples related to work and money to support points.
lexical
Use common words and avoid hard word forms; your tone should be formal and calm.
idea
The essay tries to discuss both sides and give a view.
example
There are some examples that relate to real life, like students and job issues.
stance
The writer states a clear stance in the end.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
What to do next:
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