IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, traditional foods are being replaced by the international fast food. This is having negative effect on our families and societies. To what extent do you agree and disagree?

In many nations, soul
food
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 being supplanted by the world's fast
food
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, which
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 leading to negative impacts on
families
Use synonyms
 and society. Personally, I tend to agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement for a variety of reasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
, traditional foods are what represent the culture of the nation
,
Punctuation problem
;
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thus
Linking Words
, replacing
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 with trendy
food
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 would be detrimental to the richness of the country's customs.
For instance
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 ,many countries in the world have use their culinary aspect as the main focus of the country
such
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 as Italy, VietNam,... which they have kept their culture runs deeper than ever, Mr. Xi- a professional in societal study had concluded that traditional
food
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 plays a crucial role in protecting its customs so keeping it is a strategic way to protect your roots of your home country.
Secondly
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, the change in
food
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 will certainly be responsible for arguments in
families
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, where youngsters usually love to eat other countries'
food
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due to
Linking Words
 the trend that it brings.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon would bring small breakage in
families
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 where they cannot decide what to eat. The BBC had interviewed a family in Britain for their normal meal
Punctuation problem
, and
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and
Correct word choice
which
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 resulted in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 fact that they often have conflicts
due to
Linking Words
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this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 situation of not knowing what to choose to satisfy everyone in the family.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is detrimental to treat soul
food
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 as a substitute since the harm it brings. In conclusion, the replacement of traditional
food
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to
Change preposition
with
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 international fast
food
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 is having negative impacts on our
families
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 and society. In my point of view, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon would indubitably deliver more harm than merit.

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task response
Explain each main idea with a clear reason and a concrete example that fits the task, not only cases from fake sources.
task response
Add balance by briefly mentioning views that oppose yours, then show why your view is stronger.
grammar
Use simple, short sentences and check grammar for subject-verb issues.
coherence
Link ideas with clear connectors and repeat key ideas to show flow.
coherence
Keep one main idea in each paragraph; start with a clear topic sentence.
lexical resource
Check spelling and capital city names; avoid fake names.
lexical resource
Choose exact words for 'traditional foods' and 'fast food' to keep meaning clear.
task response
Clear stance on the issue.
coherence
There is a basic paragraph plan with introduction, body and conclusion.
coherence
Use of 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' shows order.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • fast food
  • traditional food
  • home meal
  • family meal
  • culture
  • tradition
  • change
  • health
  • diet
  • nutrition
  • obesity
  • time
  • money
  • busy
  • easy
  • convenient
  • eat out
  • eat at home
  • cook
  • cooking
  • local
  • global
  • shop
  • restaurant
  • jobs
  • economy
  • school
  • kids
  • parents
  • policy
  • education
  • balance
  • moderation
  • impact
  • idea
  • future
  • life
  • family
  • promotion
  • culture
  • promotion
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