IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Directors and managers of organizations are often older people. Some people say that it is better for younger people to be leaders. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is an ongoing debate
whether
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about whether
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organizations
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organisations
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 should be managed by older people or younger people. There are some obvious pros and cons for each, and
this
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 essay will discuss them in detail. First of all, older people are seen as more experienced. They possess a quality that the newer generation
do
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does
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 not, which is wisdom garnered from years of working. Even if one may argue that their ideas could be outdated, there is no denying that there are just some challenges that their successors have not handled and do not know how
.
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to.
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 On the
second
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other
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 hand, a point has
come across
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been made
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, stating the need to replace previous leaders with younger ones. As we are getting more advanced in
this
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 day and age, more mature candidates may have a harder time coping. To avoid getting left behind, companies may choose to pursue a fresher approach. By hiring an updated leader, they can ensure the
organization's
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organisation's
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 relevance and ability to innovate. In conclusion, it is a matter of preference. Some companies may
prioritize
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prioritise
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 a wise leader,
while
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 some would see that trait as irrelevant. It is a
never ending
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never-ending
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 cycle of replacing the old with the new, and personally, I believe that it would only be a matter of time before the younger generation fully steps up as our leaders.
While
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 I think it is important to evolve with the times, I still value the importance of respecting
values
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the values
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 instilled
to
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in
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 us by our elders.

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task response
To be strong in task response, give a clear view early. Develop two or three main ideas and end with a clear line that matches your view. Add one or two real examples or facts to back up what you say.
coherence cohesion
For better flow, link ideas with simple linking words. Use clear, short paragraphs and put one main idea in each. Check the order of your points so the reader can follow with ease.
content
The essay gives both sides of the issue.
structure
The end shows a personal view that fits the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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