IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your option.

It is
aruguable
Correct your spelling
arguable
 that in
this
Linking Words
 era of technology, Television creates the communication gap between friends and family.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely
agree
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
show examples
 with the statement, because people are spending less quality time with their
closeones
Correct your spelling
close ones
 and sticking with TV. Which is discussed
further
Linking Words
 in
essay
Correct article usage
the essay
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, as each coins have two sides in
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
way
Punctuation problem
way,
show examples
T.V
Correct your spelling
TV
also
Linking Words
 have
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 pros and cons. It was made for entertainment
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 excessive
use
Add a comma
use,
show examples
 it started reducing Face-to-face interactions,
diminising
Correct your spelling
diminishing
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 of conversation and influence on
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
.
For example
Linking Words
, In recent study shows that in past
during
Punctuation problem
, during
show examples
 family
dinner
Punctuation problem
dinner,
show examples
 people tend to talk more and share their daily
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
show examples
 and
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
show examples
 to be
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
closer.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in modern
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
family
Punctuation problem
family,
show examples
 people feel apart and close to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
they
Punctuation problem
; they
show examples
 feel
vulnurable
Correct your spelling
vulnerable
 to share their feelings.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 despite
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
many disadvantages, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 advantages of TV like it
is
Use the right word
as
show examples
 being
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 for educational
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 or
Family oriented
Use the right word
family-oriented
show examples
 programs,
Which
Fix capitalization
which
show examples
 actually
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
foster discussions and bring them together.
For instance
Linking Words
, family movie night can serve as bonding,
helps
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 to understand each
members
Check wording
member's
show examples
 likes and dislikes.
To conclude
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, Television has both
outcomes
Check wording
apply
show examples
positive and
negatives
Fix the agreement mistake
negative
show examples
Although
Linking Words
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 bad sides are more but if family members reduce the screen time and spend more time together will
emphasize
Change the spelling
emphasise
show examples
 their relationship.

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development
Your answer has a clear view, but the reasons are not strong or well tied to the view. Add a main idea and link it to each paragraph.
evidence
Give more real examples and explain how they show a lack of chat with family because of TV. Use simple facts or numbers if you can.
structure
Improve flow by using a topic sentence in each paragraph and use linking words to move from idea to idea.
grammar
Fix big mistakes in spelling and grammar. Use simple, correct sentences and check twice.
task response
The writer shows a clear view on the topic.
relevance
The idea about family dinner and movie night is on topic and easy to follow.
organization
There is some paragraph plan that makes the idea easy to see.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • distraction
  • monopolize
  • meaningful conversations
  • engrossed
  • face-to-face interactions
  • weakened bonds
  • diminished quality
  • superficial content
  • sensational
  • negatively affecting
  • social development
  • family-oriented programs
  • bonding activities
What to do next:
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