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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The line graph shows information about the percentage of the population of four Asian countries living in cities and from 1970 to 2020, and with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize key features and make compariopsns where relavnmet.

The line graph shows information about the percentage of the population of four Asian countries living in cities and from 1970 to 2020, and with prediction for 2030 and 2040. Summarize key features and make compariopsns where relavnmet.
The line graph illustrates the population of people living
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 cities in
Correct article usage
the
show examples
Philippines, Malaysia, Thailand, and Indonesia from 1970 to 2040 with
predicition
Correct your spelling
prediction
 in the
last
Linking Words
 20
years
Use synonyms
. Overview, Malaysia had been the highest and
expecting
Wrong verb form
expected
show examples
 to
there
Verb problem
remain there
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 even in the future,
while
Linking Words
 Indonesia was
last
Linking Words
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 they transformed to be second the
remain
Wrong verb form
remained
show examples
 there
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Philippines
Correct article usage
The Philippines
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 was the greatest
percantge
Correct your spelling
percentage
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 turned to be third over
Use synonyms
years
Correct article usage
the years
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,
Punctuation problem
. Last
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last
Linking Words
Thailand
Punctuation problem
, Thailand
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had similar numbers and
it
Use the right word
is
show examples
expecting
Wrong verb form
expected
show examples
 to rise in the future.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
with,
show examples
 Malaysia, when it
30
Verb problem
was 30
show examples
% when
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
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start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 in
1970
Punctuation problem
1970,
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 before the
keeping
Replace the word
kept
show examples
 increasing through the
years
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it will
reaching
Wrong verb form
reach
show examples
it's
Use the right word
its
show examples
 peak in 2040
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 80%
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
 Indonesia, which had
rapid
Correct article usage
a rapid
show examples
 increase in just ten
years
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
(2000 to 2010)
it
Punctuation problem
, it
show examples
 was around 25% and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 above 40%
respectivily
Correct your spelling
respectively
.
Philippines
Correct article usage
The Philippines
show examples
 had been the highest twice before it
fluctued
Correct your spelling
fluctuated
 over the
years
Use synonyms
 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 just 45% in
2020
Punctuation problem
2020,
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it
will rise
Wrong verb form
rose
show examples
 to 50%
,
Punctuation problem
. Finally
show examples
Linking Words
finally
Punctuation problem
finally,
show examples
 Thailand
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
had
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 increase
trhough
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the
years
Use synonyms
 and in
2020
Punctuation problem
2020,
show examples
 it was 30%
the
Use the right word
then
show examples
 it will be around 45% in 2040.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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