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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where necessary.

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparison where necessary.
The chart illustrates the expenditure of two countries which they are
France
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and the
Use synonyms
Uk
Use the right word
UK
show examples
. On consumer gods in 2010, in five different
things
Check wording
consumer goods,
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as cars, computers, books, perfume, and cameras. The measure unit is
pound
Fix the agreement mistake
pounds
show examples
 Overview, the
Use synonyms
Uk
Use the right word
UK
show examples
 had
spend
Replace the word
spent
show examples
 more money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 had the lead only in two
item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 computers and perfume
,
Punctuation problem
. In
show examples
in addition
Linking Words
 to
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 it had
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 number on cars, but
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
Uk
Use the right word
UK
show examples
 had
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
differnce
Correct your spelling
difference
 on books and
camras respectivily
Correct your spelling
cameras respectively
.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Punctuation problem
with,
show examples
 cars
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
Use synonyms
Uk
Use the right word
UK
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 excatly 450,00
pounds
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
Use synonyms
France
Change preposition
in France
show examples
 was off
bu
Use the right word
by
show examples
 50,00
pounds
Use synonyms
, but in
computers
Add a comma
computers,
show examples
France
Use synonyms
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
 the lead with
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
amount
Punctuation problem
amount,
show examples
were
Use the right word
where
show examples
 it was less than 400,000 , and the
Use synonyms
Uk
Use the right word
UK
show examples
 was over 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Third
Correct article usage
The third
show examples
 one is
books
Punctuation problem
books,
show examples
were
Use the right word
where
show examples
 the
Use synonyms
Uk
Use the right word
UK
show examples
 had greater change here ,400,000 and 300,000 for
France
Use synonyms
.
Next
Punctuation problem
Next,
show examples
 perfume
were
Verb problem
sales in
show examples
France
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 higher by almost 75,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 ( just 200,000 to
France
Use synonyms
 and the
Use synonyms
Uk
Use the right word
UK
show examples
 were less than 150,000).
Linking Words
Finally
Add a comma
Finally,
show examples
 cameras were the
Use synonyms
Uk
Use the right word
UK
show examples
had
Verb problem
were
show examples
huge
Replace the word
hugely
show examples
 different
than
Change preposition
in
show examples
France
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 350,000
pounds
Use synonyms
 to 150,000
pounds
Use synonyms
respecivily
Correct your spelling
respectively
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words france, uk, pounds with synonyms.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • categories
  • compare
  • significant differences
  • trends
  • patterns
  • spending habits
  • similarities
  • findings
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