The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar graph provides information about the proportion of Australian
men
Use synonyms
and women in different
age
Use synonyms
category
Fix the agreement mistake
categories
show examples
who did regular physical activity during 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
group
Use synonyms
had the highest between 15 to 24.
However
Linking Words
, the percentage of other
demale
Correct your spelling
demographic
groups was larger than that
other
Change preposition
of other
show examples
male groups. First,the male
group
Use synonyms
range
Replace the word
ranged
show examples
from 15 to 24, it had the greatest porportage stood
up
Change preposition
at
show examples
approximately 53 %.
While
Linking Words
the
females
Fix the agreement mistake
female
show examples
group
Use synonyms
between 15 to 24 was lower than
male
Correct article usage
the male
show examples
.
Check wording
group.
show examples
Secondly
Linking Words
, the
females
Fix the agreement mistake
female
show examples
group
Use synonyms
range between 25 and 34
slightly
Punctuation problem
, slightly
show examples
larger than
similar
Correct article usage
the similar
show examples
age
Use synonyms
male
group
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the percentage of Australian women between 35 and 44 was far higher than that, making up around 53 %.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
men
Correct article usage
the men
show examples
group
Use synonyms
reached around 40%,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
was the least
during
Change preposition
among
show examples
several
age
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
. Looking more closely at the chart, the proportion of Australian females aged 45 to 54 was the highest in the whole population, taking up 53.3 %.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
men
Use synonyms
category followed
miderately
Correct your spelling
moderately
, accounting for around 43 %.The percentage of
men
Use synonyms
aged between 55 and 64 doing regular physical activity was gradually higher than similar
age
Use synonyms
category
Check wording
apply
show examples
men
Use synonyms
,
it reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
45 %.Eventually, the proportion of 65 and over that women and
men
Use synonyms
had a similar trend, with approximately 46%
anf
Correct your spelling
and
47 % respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "moreover".
Vocabulary: Replace the words men, age, group with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Percentage
  • Australian men
  • Australian women
  • Age groups
  • Regular physical activity
  • Participated
  • Increased
  • Decreased
  • Proportion
  • Physically active
  • Gender difference
  • Engaged
  • Exercise
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