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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those categories.

The chart and graph below give information about three categories of workers in Australia and the unemployment levels within those categories.
The given pie chart depicts the details about the proportion of employees in
Australia
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 who were born in 2003,
while
Linking Words
 the line graph illustrates the jobless
rate
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 in three groups of individuals over a 10-year period, from 1993 to 2003. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is evident that native Australians account for the largest percentage.
Additionally
Linking Words
, people from non-English-speaking countries showed the highest unemployment
rate
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 over the period of ten years. Regarding the pie graph, the first section was individuals who were born in
Australia
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, accounting for 76% of the total workforce
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 meanwhile, the second dominant tendency was non-English-speaking countries, with only 14%. The latest category was English-speaking countries , except
Australia
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highlighting
Punctuation problem
, highlighting
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 the lowest
rate
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, at 10%. In terms of the unemployment
rate
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, it is obvious that there was a drastic decrease in three groups over the period of 10 years. In NESC, it started at 8%, and after some fluctuations, it fell to 4% in 2003. In
Australia
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 and the ESC group demonstrated
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
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rate
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, starting from 4%,
then
Linking Words
 decreased to 2% in 2003.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words australia, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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