IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table and bar graph below show time spent on leisure and household activities in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and bar graph below show time spent on leisure and household activities in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table and the graph
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
, time spent on vacations and
household
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 in Britain, for both
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
by
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
 average
minutes
Use synonyms
 per
day
Use synonyms
. Overview, on leisure
Use synonyms
men
Punctuation problem
, men
show examples
 tend to be more active
Linking Words
while
Punctuation problem
, while
show examples
 in
Use synonyms
household
Correct article usage
the household
show examples
working
Punctuation problem
, working
show examples
women
Use synonyms
 are more
pusy
Correct your spelling
busy
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
men
Use synonyms
with
Punctuation problem
. with
show examples
 significant numbers, look
for
Linking Words
example
Punctuation problem
example,
show examples
 in cooking and washing
Use synonyms
women
Punctuation problem
, women
show examples
 are higher than
men
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
, respectiviely
show examples
respectiviely
Correct your spelling
respectively
,
although
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 are higher than in
lesiure
Correct your spelling
leisure
 with small numbers.
Firstly
Linking Words
, leisure in TV, video, and radio
men
Use synonyms
 spend 137
minutes
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
118
Verb problem
spend 118
show examples
, but in
reading
Add a comma
reading,
show examples
 girls spend more time
just
Punctuation problem
, just
show examples
 by one
mitunes
Correct your spelling
minute
 (18 for
women
Use synonyms
 and 18 for
men
Use synonyms
).
Then
Linking Words
 sport
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 the boys had
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
as well
by
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
 15
minutes
Use synonyms
 per
day
Use synonyms
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the
women
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 they were 11
minutes
Use synonyms
. Next
household
Use synonyms
 work,
frist
Correct your spelling
first
 cooking and washing were the girls
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
impresive
Correct your spelling
impressive
 numbers by around 70
mintues
Correct your spelling
minutes
while
Linking Words
 the
men
Use synonyms
 were only around 30
minutes
Use synonyms
 per
day
Use synonyms
,
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
 between them. After
that is
Linking Words
shooping
Correct your spelling
shopping
Linking Words
also
Punctuation problem
, also
show examples
 the ladies
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
take
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
 the lead by less than 40
mintues
Correct your spelling
minutes
,
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to
men
Use synonyms
 were
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
over 20
minutes
Use synonyms
,
then
Linking Words
repair
Wrong verb form
repairing
show examples
this
Linking Words
 is the only thing that
men
Use synonyms
 were
than
Correct word choice
better than
show examples
 the
women
Use synonyms
 in
household
Use synonyms
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
, with almost 20
while
Linking Words
 ladies were around 10
minutes
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Finally
Punctuation problem
Finally,
show examples
 clothes washing and ironing, here
agian
Correct your spelling
again
 girls were higher with
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 amount around 30 for them
while
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 were 10
minutes
Use synonyms
 per
day
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words household, men, women, minutes, day with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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