IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society?

Water
Use synonyms
 pollution has
became
Wrong verb form
become
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 one of the main
concering
Correct your spelling
concerning
 topics for the ecosystem activists.
the
Fix capitalization
The
show examples
isuue
Correct your spelling
issue
 is rising each year, and it's leaving species with poor
water
Use synonyms
 quality to drink, or in some cases
leading
Punctuation problem
, leading
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 to death. The
cause
Use synonyms
 is significantly connected to the factory emissions and
trashes
Correct subject-verb agreement
trash
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throwed
Correct your spelling
thrown
 by people.
This
Linking Words
 problem is mainly related to the industries that release their emissions to the
water
Use synonyms
, followed by
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 wastes dumped by humans. Companies
cause
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
a lots
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lots
Fix the agreement mistake
lot
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 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution to rivers by being irresponsible toward their
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
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 and operations.
For example
Linking Words
, non eco-friendly factories
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 that produce skin
cares
Fix the agreement mistake
care
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 tend to release the spoiled and useless leftovers
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
Use synonyms
water
Correct article usage
the water
show examples
, leading to
death
Correct article usage
the death
show examples
 of marine creatures.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, individuals are to blame, because they leave plastics and cans in the
water
Use synonyms
 rather than bin. Plastic will not get absorbed and
remain
Verb problem
will remain
show examples
 for thousands of years,
effecting
Use the right word
affecting
show examples
 sea creatures. A clean place to live will enhance the quality of life
,
Punctuation problem
;
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however
Linking Words
, marine animals are struggling with
this
Linking Words
 fact. The amount of dirt will shorten their life span, decrease their health, and at some point
leads
Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
show examples
 to their death.
For instance
Linking Words
, a picture of a dead turtle has gone viral for being stuck on a bottle of
water
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the population of
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 creatures will drop, leading to
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
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 of extinction.
This
Linking Words
 can
also
Linking Words
 affect human basic needs as well, people living in rural areas in
under developed
Use the right word
underdeveloped
show examples
 countries
doesn't
Correct subject-verb agreement
don't
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 access to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clean
water
Use synonyms
, so they are forced to drink from other sources
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 rivers. Iran is one of the countries
that is
Linking Words
 fighting
water
Use synonyms
 deficiency
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Thus
Linking Words
, in some of the villages, residents can only use lakes or rivers. An unclean drink can
cause
Use synonyms
 several diseases and poor health, which adds to the cost of health care as well.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
water
Use synonyms
 pollution is putting lots of
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 risk
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
moreover
Linking Words
, the main
cause
Use synonyms
 of the issue
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 humans. Corporations need to go green
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 society has to be more responsible toward
earth
Correct article usage
the earth
show examples
 to decrease
this
Linking Words
 critical problem.

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language
Fix spelling and grammar to make your point clear.
structure
Make a clear plan: one intro with your view, two or three body parts that show causes and effects, and a short conclusion.
cohesion
Use simple linking words such as first, also, but, then, so that ideas flow well.
content
Give more clear examples that match the task and keep to the topic.
strength
The essay shows you want to explain both causes and effects.
strength
There are some real examples used to support ideas.
strength
There is a clear attempt to connect pollution to life on land and in the sea and to people.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • contamination
  • industrial discharge
  • untreated sewage
  • agricultural runoff
  • pesticides
  • oil spills
  • microplastics
  • eutrophication
  • algal blooms
  • marine dumping
  • bioaccumulation
  • ecosystem
  • biodiversity
  • public health
  • waterborne diseases
  • fishing industry
  • tourism industry
  • sustainable practices
  • environmental regulations
  • waste management
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