Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both points of view and provide your own opinion.

Some
people
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argue that
history
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is one of the most significant
subject
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subjects
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,
whereas
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others claim
science
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and
technology
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is
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are
show examples
more crucial in the modern world. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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I will illustrate both perspectives
along with
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my own view. On the one hand, proponents of
history
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education
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believe that learning from past failures enables students to prevent following the same path.
For instance
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, international collisions in
the
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apply
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world war
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World War
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Ⅱ brought
a
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apply
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devastating
consequence
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consequences
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to Hiroshima and Nagasaki by using nuclear
weapon
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weapons
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. Many
people
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died
and
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, and
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some descendants have been suffering
for
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from
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the health effects,
such
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as cancer. Each of us should learn
this
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incidence
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incident
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due
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apply
show examples
to prevent using similar
weapon
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weapons
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as well as
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preventing wars in the first place.
However
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, in the contemporary epoch, living without
science
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and
technology
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education
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is impossible, because technologies are used in most industries.
Service
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Services
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such
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as
bank
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banks
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, shopping and
education
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can be provided online, which requires skills to
utilize
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utilise
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each
services
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service
show examples
and knowledge to understand the system when errors occur.
Moreover
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, skills
such
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as programming
is
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are
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becoming essential in some occupations. It is better to start learning about technologies
in
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at
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young
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a young
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ages
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age
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to survive the
competing
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competitive
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recruitment. I believe
best
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the best
show examples
education
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is to balance among all subjects, to provide students opportunities to learn various things in their youth. It is obvious that both educating
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in
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history
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and
science
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can be beneficial.
While
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history
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provide
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provides
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knowledge of
ancestors
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ancestors'
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failure and encourages
people
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to appreciate other
culture
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cultures
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,
science
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and
technology
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teaches
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teach
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students
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the possibility
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possibility
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possibilities
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of human imagination and
encourages
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encourage
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them to keep on
challanging
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challenging
. In conclusion, there is an ongoing debate about the most significant subject taught at school, whether it's
history
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or
science
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.
History
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help
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helps
show examples
people
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avoid significant errors, whilst
technology
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enhance
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enhances
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one's possibilities. I believe that both subjects are equally beneficial ,
thus
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, balanced
education
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is the most
prefered
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preferred
method, in order to create more possibilities in the future.

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strength
Your essay tries to cover both views and adds a view of your own, which is good.
language
Fix many grammar and spelling mistakes. short, clear sentences will help.
coherence
Link ideas well. Use one idea per sentence and group ideas in short paragraphs.
accuracy
Check common word use. Some words are wrong or odd for this topic.
content
You show both sides of the topic.
content
You give real examples to explain your view.
structure
Your conclusion repeats your view and ends the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • insights into
  • past events
  • comprehensive understanding
  • informed citizenship
  • appreciate different cultures
  • critical thinking skills
  • analyzing sources
  • globalized world
  • contextualize current events
  • global challenges
  • advancement and innovation
  • fast-evolving
  • digital world
  • improved quality of life
  • analytical skills
  • problem-solving skills
  • career development
  • technological literacy
  • digitalization
  • automation
  • transform industries
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