Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys?

In modern society, many parents like to buy a lot of
toys
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for their
children
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.
This
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has both advantages and disadvantages. In
this
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article, I will discuss both aspects. On the one hand, having many
toys
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may be beneficial for
children
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. Different
toys
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can help
children
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learn new things.
For example
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, puzzles can help them think better and develop their imagination. Building blocks can help them exercise their hands-on skills.
Toys
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can
also
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make
children
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happy and give them something to do, so parents have more free time to do other things.
Children
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can play alone or with friends, which is good for their social skills.
On the other hand
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, too many
toys
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can
also
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be a problem. If
children
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have many
toys
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, they may not focus on one toy and get bored quickly. They may always want more new
toys
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and not cherish the ones they have.
Moreover
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, if everything is prepared for them, they may not use their imagination.
For instance
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, if they always play with expensive
toys
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, they may not try to create games by themselves. In conclusion, having many
toys
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has both advantages and disadvantages.
Toys
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can help
children
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learn and have fun, but too many
toys
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may make them inattentive and lack creativity. Parents should give their
children
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an appropriate number of
toys
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.

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task response
For task response, add more clear main ideas and keep to the topic. Give a real view at the end.
task response
Provide more real examples that show how toys help or hurt the child.
coherence
For coherence, use small joining words to move from one idea to the next.
coherence
Make the intro and the conclusion a bit stronger but short.
structure
There is a clear start, body and end.
content
The essay covers both sides well.
coherence
Ideas are linked with simple words that are easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite
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