IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. (Pounds sterling).

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010. (Pounds sterling).
The bar chart illustrates how much money the two countries in Europe (France and
The
Fix capitalization
the
show examples
Uk
Use the right word
UK
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) spent on consumer goods(
cars
Use synonyms
,
computers
Use synonyms
,
books
Use synonyms
, perfumes and
cameras
Use synonyms
), in the year 2010. Units are measured in pounds sterling.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can see that the
Uk
Use the right word
UK
show examples
 has consumed more items
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
than in France.
Also
Linking Words
 can highlight that the most selling products were
cars
Use synonyms
,
books
Use synonyms
 and
computers
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the least were
cameras
Use synonyms
 and perfume. As it is
show
Replace the word
shown
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, Britain was the nation that bought
majority
Correct article usage
the majority
show examples
 of the items. Their top three used possessions were
cameras
Use synonyms
 with about 360000£, and
cars
Use synonyms
 and
books
Use synonyms
(almost 450000£ and around 40000£ respectively). As for their lowest owned thing, it appears
that
Linking Words
is
Use the right word
it
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 was perfume with around 40000£.
While
Linking Words
it is clear that
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
 remained in the middle of the rating for 35000£.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the French consumed more
less
Correct word choice
or less
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 than the British as we stated before. Their highest wanted goods were
computers
Use synonyms
,
books
Use synonyms
 and
cars
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
cars
Change preposition
with cars
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came
Wrong verb form
coming
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 at the top with an exact 40000£,
while
Linking Words
computers
Use synonyms
 and
books
Use synonyms
 came with about
(
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 370000£ and 300000£ respectively
)
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
. It seems obvious that perfume and
cameras
Use synonyms
 were the least purchased by the French.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "it is clear that, while".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words cars, computers, books, cameras with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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