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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph compares the number of goods transported to the UK by four various modes of transportation in the years 1974 to 2002. Data are expressed in million of tonnes.

The line graph compares the number of goods transported to the UK by four various modes of transportation in the years 1974 to 2002. Data are expressed in million of tonnes.
The line graph
illustartes
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illustrates
 the amount of supplies imported in
millon
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million
of
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apply
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tonnes to the UK by 4 different
ways
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means
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 of travelling from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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1974 to 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that the highest transportation method is by road,
in
Linking Words
contrast
Punctuation problem
contrast,
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 the usage of pipeline was the lowest among all four ways .
Moreover
Linking Words
, it is crystal clear that goods
send
Wrong verb form
sent
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 by water and railways fluctuated in all
peroids
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periods
 of time. In terms of the highest, we can see that roadways were at the top in all years, starting with nearly 70
million
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 in 1974. It continued increasing
untill
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until
 it reached approximately 100
million
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 in 2002.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, pipelines began with slightly above 1
million
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 in 1974 and increased
untill
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until
 it reached 20
million
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 and continued at the same rate
to
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until
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 the
last
Linking Words
 year. Being near each other, water and
rail ways
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railways
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 were around 40
million
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 at the
begining untill
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beginning until
 they reached the year 1978. Water started increasing to reach above 60
million
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 in the year 2002,
while
Linking Words
 rail went back to 40
million
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 in 2002.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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