IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie charts below show reasons why people left the UK for other countries and why people stayed in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show reasons why people left the UK for other countries and why people stayed in the UK. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
THE PIE CHART PROVIDE KEY INFORMATION ABOUT TWO MAIN
REASONS
Use synonyms
, WHY PEOPLE TRANSPORT TO ANOTHER COUNRTY
INSTEAD
Linking Words
 OF STAYING AT THE UNITED KINGDOM.
MOREOVER
Linking Words
, IF THEY STAY
AT
Change preposition
in
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THE
Correct article usage
apply
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ENGLAND, WHY DO THEY CHOOSE THAT
.
Change the punctuation
?
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ACCORDING TO
Linking Words
 WHAT IS SHOWN IN THE FIRST
PIE QRAPH
Check wording
paragraph
show examples
, THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE LEAVE THE UK FOR THE QUALITY OF LIFE.
WHEREAS
Linking Words
, THE SIGNIFICANT INDIVIDUALS CHOOSE TO STAY IN GREAT BRITAIN FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS. IN TERMS OF THE
REASONS
Use synonyms
 BEHIND LEAVING THE UK, THE MAIN REASON IS QUALITY OF LIFE, WHICH IS THE HIGHEST PROPORTION IN THE FIRST SKECH. FOLLOWED BY FINANCIAL
REASONS
Use synonyms
 BY 24 PER CENT ,
THEN
Linking Words
 EMPLOYMENT WITH 18% AND THE
LAST
Linking Words
 TWO PERCENTAGES ARE WEATHER AND FAMILY AND FRIENDS WITH 12% AND 9% RESPECTIVELY. WITH REGARD TO WHY PEOPLE CHOOSE TO STAY IN THE UK, THE PEAKS WAS FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS ,WHICH IS THE OPPOSITE OF THE FIRST TABLE.
SUBSEQUENTLY
Linking Words
, 21% OF THEM FOR SOCIAL LIFE, FOLLOWED BY AN EQUAL PROPORTION FOR THE FINANCIAL
REASONS
Use synonyms
 AND EMPLOYMENT
WITH
Punctuation problem
, WITH
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 15%. THE
LAST
Linking Words
 PERCENTAGE IS FOR LANGUAGE WITH A MODEST PROPORTION ,WHICH IS 11%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words reasons with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 3 times.
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