IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, it is illegal for employers to reject a job applicant because of their age. Is this a positive or negative development?

In many countries, there are laws that prevent
companies
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 from rejecting job applicants because of their age I believe it can lead to several negative consequences for both sides to
the
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apply
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companies
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 and
to
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apply
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workers
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. In my opinion
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,
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following that
rule
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rule,
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 we can choose the most suitable persons
to
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for
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 the job
which
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, which
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 will help to find
best
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the best
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 solutions in hard situations and give good ideas for industries. In some ways, people need to have specific skills, physical ability or fast learning
which
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, which
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 skills we
in
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apply
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generally can see in a group which is younger.
For
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example
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example,
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 jobs that have more heavy and physical work can be more suitable for
the
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apply
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young individuals
due to
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 industries and
companies
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 prefer
that persons
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people
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which
Fix the agreement mistake
who
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 can adapt quickly
and
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, and
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 young people can recommend themselves better . If
companies
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 ignore age completely, they may end up hiring someone who is not the best fit for the role. From my point of
view
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view,
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this
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 law can create some financial problems for the
companies
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. Old
workers
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 need more time to adapt or to learn something in
theirs
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their
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 jobs, we
have
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also have
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also
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 modern technologies which
improves
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improve
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 every
day
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day,
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that
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which
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 is why I think
old
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the old
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 generation and
workers
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 will not bring benefits to the workplace. It may
effect
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affect
show examples
on
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apply
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productivity and slow down
to
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apply
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the company’s progress. At the same time, younger
workers
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 might feel they have fewer opportunities, which can reduce their motivation. In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 even though sometimes the law against age discrimination
it
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is
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 made with good purposes. It limits what employers can do, for these
reasons
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reasons,
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 I think that
negative
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the negative
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 side

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structure
Make your aim clear at the start. State your view in one line, then give 2 or 3 reasons, and end with a short line that repeats your view.
structure
Group ideas that go together in one paragraph. Use a clear topic sentence at the start of each paragraph.
grammar
Check the grammar. Use simple, short sentences and be careful with verb form and spare words.
task response
Use more clear examples for each reason. Give a number, a case, or a fact to back up your point.
content
The write shows that the law has good aims and also possible limits.
content
There is some use of examples about age and work and learning.
content
You link the idea of fit at work to the young group and how it can affect the job.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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