IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph and table below show the average monthly temperatures and the average number of hours of sunshine per year in three major cities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph and table illustrate
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the average temperatures
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in three main cities
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
London
Use synonyms
, New
York
Use synonyms
, and
Sydeny
Correct your spelling
Sydney
.
Linking Words
Fix capitalization
Also
show examples
also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
 it
measure
Correct subject-verb agreement
measures
show examples
 the
averge
Correct your spelling
average
 number of hours of sunrise in the year.
Overall
Linking Words
, New
York
Use synonyms
 has the highest number of sunshine, followed by
Sydeny
Correct your spelling
Sydney
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 came second with slight
differ
Replace the word
difference
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
London
Use synonyms
 came
last
Linking Words
 by far.
Linking Words
although
Fix capitalization
Although
show examples
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
Sydney has
warmest
Correct article usage
the warmest
show examples
 weather
through
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
whole
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
year,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
New
York
Use synonyms
 and
London
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
rappid
Correct your spelling
rapid
change
Fix the agreement mistake
changes
show examples
 throughout 12
months
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with
Check wording
apply
show examples
London
Use synonyms
, which
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 total annual hours of sunshine is 1,180, and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
heat
Use synonyms
 of it can change depending on the
months
Use synonyms
Punctuation problem
. For
show examples
for instance
Linking Words
, in winter
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 average
temperture
Correct your spelling
temperature
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 around
10c
Correct your spelling
10 °C
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
otherwise
Add a comma
otherwise,
show examples
 the
heat
Use synonyms
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
increaseing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 throughout the period until
Correct pronoun usage
it reach
show examples
reach
Correct subject-verb agreement
reaches
show examples
 summer
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 the highest
heat
Use synonyms
 in
London
Use synonyms
 , which is less than
25c
Correct your spelling
25 °C
. Before it
fall
Correct subject-verb agreement
falls
show examples
 again in
Autmn
Correct your spelling
Autumn
 to be 15 and even 10 in November.
Then
Linking Words
, New
York
Use synonyms
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 has the greatest number of hours of sunrise, by 2,535. But, it
tempertures
Correct your spelling
temperatures
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 had small degrees like 5c during
Decmeber
Correct your spelling
December
 and throughout the winter,
then
Linking Words
 in Spring it can rise to 10c,
while
Linking Words
 in summer it reached the highest amount of
heat
Use synonyms
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 with the others and it can reach 30c in July.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 in
fall
Correct article usage
the fall
show examples
 it
start
Correct subject-verb agreement
starts
show examples
decreases
Verb problem
to decrease
show examples
 again to be from (25c to 10c).
Linking Words
Finally
Punctuation problem
Finally,
show examples
Sydeny
Correct your spelling
Sydney
, it is coldest
moths
Use the right word
months
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 June and July
by
Punctuation problem
, by
show examples
 15c thish the
months
Use synonyms
 of winter in Sydney, but the rest
months
Use synonyms
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
 stable
tempertures
Correct your spelling
temperatures
 during the year, with 25c most of the time.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words london, york, months, heat, c with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average
  • temperature
  • sunshine
  • monthly
  • annual
  • comparison
  • characteristics
  • detailed analysis
  • highest
  • lowest
  • examination
  • relationship
  • illustrate
  • patterns
  • rainfall
  • climate
  • considerable variation
  • significantly
  • notable
  • data representation
  • regional differences
  • yearly averages
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