IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Over the
last
Linking Words
 few years, a considerable alteration has been observed in the field of technology, medical
.
Check wording
technology.
show examples
Therefore
Linking Words
, some people think that scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 should be dedicated to
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 human lives. To
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large
extant
Use the right word
extent
show examples
, I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Hence
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss how
sceintific
Correct your spelling
scientific
 progress has historically changed living
standard
Fix the agreement mistake
standards
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
 should be the primary objective.
Undoudtedly
Correct your spelling
Undoubtedly
, scientific inventions
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 changed each sector entirely
Punctuation problem
, specially
show examples
specially
Use the right word
especially
show examples
transport
Correct article usage
the transport
show examples
 sector and
telecommunication
Correct article usage
the telecommunication
show examples
 field, which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 far more immediate and meaningful ramifications.
In other words
Linking Words
, as
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to the past, people may not only cover thousands of miles
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
show examples
hours
Change preposition
of hours
show examples
 with the help of
advance
Correct word choice
advanced
show examples
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 communicate through
smart phones
Use the right word
smartphones
show examples
 with others by sitting at a great distance.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, professionals
also
Linking Words
 have a great contribution in
medical
Correct article usage
the medical
show examples
 sector, because medical researchers formulate valuable medicines to treat deadly diseases.
As a result
Linking Words
, it
mitigate
Correct subject-verb agreement
mitigates
show examples
 the mortality rate.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the
pendmic
Correct your spelling
pandemic
 of
COVID 19
Use the right word
COVID-19
show examples
, doctors from all over the world worked
togather
Correct your spelling
together
 and invented
vaccination
Correct article usage
a vaccination
show examples
 to deal with
deadly
Correct article usage
the deadly
show examples
Corona Virus
Use the right word
coronavirus
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
along with
Linking Words
 the development, a myriad of deadly diseases and alarming issues
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been escalating, which is the cause of scientific
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 unintentionally and
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
immediate action to mitigate the dilemma. To explain it,
due to
Linking Words
 the advancement in the field of technology, numerous
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 are
being
Verb problem
apply
show examples
emerging,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 transportation (bike, car, buses, etc)
require
Correct subject-verb agreement
requires
show examples
 fuel (diesel, petrol) and
beget
Verb problem
produces
show examples
 carbon monoxide, nitrogen oxide, sulfur dioxide.
Moreover
Linking Words
, data
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, mobile towers require
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 amount of
eletricity
Correct your spelling
electricity
 to work and emit harmful electromagnetic waves
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 may cause birds, insects, and
beesl
Correct your spelling
bees
 even cause certain deadly diseases
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 cancer. In conclusion, despite having some inescapable drawbacks,
science
Replace the word
scientific
show examples
 inventions are predominantly beneficial
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 must
remain working
Wrong verb form
continue to work
show examples
 to improve
human's
Check wording
human
show examples
 lives in future too.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Make a clear plan before you write. Put a strong topic sentence in the first paragraph and at least two clear points. Use simple link words to move from one idea to next.
language
Fix grammar and spell wrong words. Use one idea in one sentence and check subject-verb in each sentence.
content
Explain each example how it helps your point. Tie every idea back to the main claim.
content
You state a clear view that most think science should help life.
content
You give several good examples from life, like medicine and COVID vaccines.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: