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Writing Samples
Band 7

Nowadays, managers and team leaders in many organizations and companies are much younger compared to the past. What are the reasons for it? Is it positive or negative development?

In the present world, there is no consensus whether it is good to hire young people in firms or rely on older generations. Some people believe that mature workers have more experience and can work more productively.
However
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, I reckon that age does not play a huge role in the workplace. And I intend to give a brief outline of the main arguments. It is evident that many young executives have become equally responsible for business processes with others who have more experience. The reason behind
that is
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 the fact that younger generations can be more broad-minded and responsible in the workplace. To take a case in point, the business models have changed because employers re-evaluated their priorities.
Such
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 a trend is rather positive and has a few reasons for that. First of all, the younger a person is, the more energy and motivation she has. Most big companies prefer an energetic team, which is full of ideas, because it would be more effective for a business.
Secondly
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, young individuals are always ready to study and improve themselves in different spheres.
Consequently
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, they are interested in putting their efforts into a company to gain experience.
Finally
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,
such
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 workers get on well with technologies and often stay up-to-date. All things considered, the trend of rising numbers of considerably younger workforce seems beneficial for firms, considering all the advantages. I strongly believe that if corporations replace the older employees with younger ones, the profits of businesses will rise. It is crucial to reevaluate an enterprise's goals and realise whether it is reasonable to invest in new people.

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content
Balance your view by noting both the good and bad points of hiring young workers. Include a counter-idea.
content
Give real examples or data to back your claim that profits rise when younger workers are hired.
lexis
Use simple and common words. Avoid difficult words like broad-minded, consequently, re-evaluated.
grammar
Check grammar and avoid gender-specific pronouns; prefer 'they' or 'people' when not sure.
structure
End with a clear conclusion that states your stance again.
task response
The answer states a clear stance that younger workers are good for firms.
coherence
There is a logical flow with a 'First, Second, Finally' sequence.
structure
Introduction and conclusion are present.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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