IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that teenagers should follow the old generation but others believe that they should challenge the old thoughts. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Today, many
people
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 argue about the young
generations
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that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 must learn from the old
people
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. But
,
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apply
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 some
people
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 think that they don't have to follow what old
generations
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 do.
This
Linking Words
 essay will examine both perspectives and explain how the old
thoughts
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 are still relevant to the younger
.
Check wording
generation.
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Firstly
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, many
people
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 think that our young
generations
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 have to follow what the older
generation
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 does. Because
,
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apply
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 the older
generation
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 has so much
experience
Correct word order
more experience
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 in life
more
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apply
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than teenagers. We should agree about that, because
Linking Words
for
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, for
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 example, our parents have more experience in life than us and
,
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apply
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 they already do what we do now. So, there must be
a
Correct article usage
some
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 knowledge that we can get from the older
generation
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.
Secondly
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, some
people
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 think that teenagers should let go
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of the
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the
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 old
thoughts
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. Because
,
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apply
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 the old
thoughts
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 are not relevant in
this
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 modern society.
For example
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, in the
past
Add a comma
past,
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 our elders learned everything from books. But
,
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apply
show examples
 today we can learn anything by searching
in
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on
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 Google or using AI to be our partner.
Therefore
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, for young
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people
Add a comma
people,
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 the old way is too conservative to be used in
this
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 era.
However
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, we should know that the old way is more useful for the older
generation
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. In conclusion, both the young and older
generations
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 have their own
thoughts
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what
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on what
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 to do in their life.
However
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, the teenagers have to
put
Verb problem
show
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 more respect
with
Change preposition
for
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 the old
thoughts
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 and the older
generation
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 must realise that the younger
generation
Use synonyms
 has their own way too.

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tip
Be clear with your view. State your opinion in the intro and in the last paragraph.
improvement
Make each paragraph have one main idea. Start with a topic sentence and add one or two small examples.
tip
Use more linking words to show contrast and flow between ideas.
improvement
Check grammar and fix long or run-on sentences. Use simple, short sentences.
strength
The essay shows an attempt to discuss both sides.
structure
There is an introduction and a conclusion.
content
Some good examples are used, such as parents and the use of Google/AI.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adhere to
  • guidance
  • wisdom
  • societal continuity
  • traditions
  • cultural values
  • life experiences
  • career choices
  • relationships
  • moral dilemmas
  • question
  • challenge
  • conventional wisdom
  • foster innovation
  • status quo
  • societal evolution
  • outdated practices
  • contemporary standards
  • critical thinking
  • adaptability
  • rapidly changing world
  • scrutinizing
  • inclusive
  • equitable
  • efficient systems
  • balanced approach
  • empowered
  • outdated or harmful traditions
  • preservation
  • innovation
  • refining
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