IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income.Unfortunately tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly.Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefit of tourism out weight its drawbacks?

It is undeniable that lots of countries around the world depend on
tourism
Use synonyms
 as a
mjor
Correct your spelling
major
 source of income.
While
Linking Words
 some think that
tourism
Use synonyms
 has many positives, others argue that it comes with several problems if not managed
prorerly
Correct your spelling
properly
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
this
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 phenomenon and present my opinion. On the one hand,
tourism
Use synonyms
 brings lots of benefits to the visitors and the visited country.
In other words
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, travelling to another country and
know
Wrong verb form
knowing
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 more about them can serve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both sides very well. The host country will be able to show them who they truly are in the most perfect and honest way, through their
people
Use synonyms
, their manners, and their real behaviours.
Instead
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 of relying on other sources
such
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 as the media, which lately has been spreading a lot of misconceptions about many countries, especially the Middle East.
Additionally
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,
this
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 would offer tourists a real and extraordinary experience of the place. To illustrate, they will get to know the customs, traditions, food, culture, history, landscapes and many other interesting things, all of which will
presented
Verb problem
be presented
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 to them in an authentic, long-lasting experience that they can share with their
people
Use synonyms
 when they go back home.
This
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 is extremely
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
, as it would help close
people
Use synonyms
 and nations together, as long as the fear of the unknown
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
no longer exists.
On the other hand
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, there could be some
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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of
Change preposition
to
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 hosting tourists. It is possible to say that there will be much crowding that may bother the indigenous
.
Check wording
people.
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People
Use synonyms
 might take
them so long
Rephrase
longer
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 than
the
Correct article usage
apply
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usual to go to work, or run some errands.
Moreover
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,
such
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 a trend might lead to
increasing
Correct article usage
an increasing
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 pollution rate in the city.
For example
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, tourists will use transport to move around the place, and
as a result
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Add a comma
,
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carbon emissions will be produced even more.
This
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 would make air pollution rise significantly. In conclusion,
although
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 there are some negatives of
tourism
Use synonyms
, I tend to believe that the advantages
are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
far outweigh the disadvantages.

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task
Make the plan clear in the intro and end. State your view plainly and restate in the end.
coherence
Use one clear topic sentence in each paragraph. Stick to one main idea per paragraph.
grammar
Use simple grammar and check spelling. Fix mistakes with word form and articles.
content
Give more exact examples and explain them so the reader can see the point.
content
The essay shows both good and bad sides.
structure
It uses 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to show structure.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic boost
  • cultural exchange
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural erosion
  • economic dependency
  • sustainable tourism
  • unregulated
  • local economy
  • job creation
  • income generation
  • pollution
  • natural resources
  • cultural identity
  • tourist influx
  • global pandemics
  • political unrest
  • hospitality sector
  • entertainment industry
  • transportation sector
What to do next:
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