IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

International tourism has become a huge industry in the world. Are the problems that international travelers cause greater than the advantages they bring? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own Knowledge or experience.

With the development of globalisation and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
, international travel has become a more and more
pupular
Correct your spelling
popular
 choice
by
Change preposition
for
show examples
 lots of families.
However
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 are arguing that there will be more disadvantages than benefits for developing international
tourism
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
esaay
Correct your spelling
essay
 will investigate
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement from both sides, with my personal experience and perspectives. On one hand, it is evident that welcoming international
travellers
Use synonyms
 can significantly boost
local
Correct article usage
the local
show examples
 economy, especially for countries or regions which highly rely on the
tourism
Use synonyms
industry
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
, as one of the biggest modern cities in the world, has attracted a large number of
tourists
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around
Change preposition
from around
show examples
 the world.
Although
Linking Words
 the most significant
industry
Use synonyms
 in
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
in
Use the right word
is
show examples
 finance,
Use synonyms
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 plays an important role in
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
's economy.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, since the number of international
travellers
Use synonyms
 had dropped dramatically
due to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Covid-19
Use the right word
COVID-19
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 in the past few years, lots of workers in
Use synonyms
tourism
Correct article usage
the tourism
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
 were getting much lower pay and even lost their jobs. Based on
this
Linking Words
 situation,
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
's government had to
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
implement many following policies to ensure their income and living quality, including filming
tourism
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
,
lowwing
Correct your spelling
lowering
down
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the visa application requirements and so on.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, international
travellers
Use synonyms
 sometimes can bring
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
show examples
 to the local citizens.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Hong
Use synonyms
Kong
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 used to complain about international
tourists
Use synonyms
 between 2014-2018.
As
Change preposition
Due to
show examples
 the arrival
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large number of
travellers
Use synonyms
, the local traffic,
supermakets
Correct your spelling
supermarkets
 and restaurants were full of
people
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, local citizens'
life
Check wording
apply
show examples
quality was influenced negatively. From my experience, I once met a parade
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
against international
tourists
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 year in Barcelona. The local
people
Use synonyms
 were arguing the negative impact that
tourists
Use synonyms
 bring: increasing
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 level, traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
, hygiene on the streets and so on. It seemed
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that the local
people
Use synonyms
 did not welcome
travellers
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, through the progress of my tour, things did not happen
through
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 way. Barcelona has lots of attractive places that cost tickets, and there
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 many nice small restaurants. These places need
tourists
Use synonyms
 as the local
people
Use synonyms
 would not go there frequently.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
tourists
Use synonyms
 would prefer
go
Verb problem
to go
show examples
 to restaurants that are famous online, with
great
Correct article usage
a great
show examples
 location and beautiful decoration. These have different prices compared to the others that local
people
Use synonyms
 usually go
.
Change preposition
to.
show examples
 In conclusion, there is no doubt that welcoming international
tourists
Use synonyms
 is
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to the local
enconomy
Correct your spelling
economy
.
However
Linking Words
, it is essential for the local government to implement
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 strategies to take care
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 life quality of local
people
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as
control
Replace the word
controlling
show examples
 the price level,
build
Wrong verb form
building
show examples
 more roads,
construct
Wrong verb form
constructing
show examples
 more facilities and so on.

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planning
Plan your essay with a short outline before you write. Make the intro, two body parts and a conclusion. Stay with one main idea in each paragraph.
cohesion
Use simple linking words to show idea link. Best pairs are on the one hand and on the other hand, and also addition and contrast.
development
Add clear points and explain why each point matters with a simple example.
grammar
Check spelling and grammar. Use easy sentences and keep to common words.
accuracy
Be careful with facts. If you name places, make sure the facts fit.
content
The essay shows effort to discuss both sides of the topic.
content
It uses real places as examples, which helps value.
structure
The end lines give a clear close to the essay.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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