IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Schools should not force children to learn a foreign language, because some students don't have a natural ability for languages. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

educational
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Educational
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institution
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institutions
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 should not force
children
Use synonyms
 to learn a foreign
language
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due to
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 some
Use synonyms
children
Check wording
children's
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 inability to learn
them
Correct pronoun usage
it
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. Personally, I tend to
contradictory
Verb problem
hold contradictory
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 views in
this
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 matter. There
indubitably
Rephrase
apply
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are various benefits of making the
language
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subject
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 compulsory.
To begin
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 with, the world
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 globalization
which
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, which
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 means that
children
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 in the future will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
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citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
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 of the
world
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world,
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 not just their home country, so having an extra
language
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 is going to be beneficial since having only their mother
tounge
Correct your spelling
tongue
 is insufficient.
For instance
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, more than 95% of the world's
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 have been teaching English as their second or third
language
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, making the pupils vulnerable to the
language
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also
Correct word choice
and also
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encourage
Wrong verb form
encouraging
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 them to learn.
Thus
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,
mandatory
Correct article usage
the mandatory
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 foreign
language
Use synonyms
subject
Use synonyms
 is bringing so much value to the young generations. Despite these
circumstance
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circumstances
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, there are some actions that we should take into consideration. One
such
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 thing is the
disablity
Correct your spelling
disability
 of some
student
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students
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at
Change preposition
in
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 learning new languages. Knowing that we should not
forced
Wrong verb form
force
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 them to a fixed
subject
Use synonyms
 schedule but make them choose what they feel best for them.
Moreover
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,by doing
that
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that,
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 the adults are
also
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 creating
an
Correct article usage
a
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 democratic environment where the
children
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 could decide for themselves and become more
self dependent
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self-dependent
show examples
.
Therefore
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, it is
also
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 crucial to understand the
need
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needs
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 of the youngsters
not
Punctuation problem
, not
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 just considering the advantages that the phenomenon would bring to the table. In conclusion, whether making
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
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language
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
apply
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a mandatory
subject
Use synonyms
 or not
due to
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 the
inablity
Correct your spelling
inability
 to learn of
students
Punctuation problem
students,
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 we still have to look more
in to
Use the right word
into
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 the phenomenon and
ivestigate
Correct your spelling
investigate
 more to fully grasp the situation. In my point of view, I fancy the fact of giving them a freedom of choice more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
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a fixed
subject
Use synonyms
.

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task
Make your main idea clear at the start. State your view in one line and stick to it.
task
Give clear reasons and simple facts to back them. Do not stay too long on small ideas.
task
Use clear and simple grammar. Check spellings and word use.
coherence
Use short link words to show that you move from one idea to the next.
coherence
Make new paragraph for a new idea. Start with a topic sentence.
content
The essay shows a real attempt to discuss both sides.
content
The writer shows choice can be a fair way to a big issue.
content
There are some good ideas that a student can learn things by languages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • languages
  • stress
  • ability
  • learn
  • students
  • important
  • skills
  • choice
  • subjects
  • parents
  • teachers
  • discover
  • strengths
  • results
  • happiness
What to do next:
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