IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. ​ Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In our industrious-oriented era,
working
Correct article usage
the working
show examples
 week is one of the critical issues. Some individuals advocate
short
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 week and extended weekend days, and I strongly advocate
this
Linking Words
 aspect since it can support not only
labours'
Use the right word
labourers'
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 well-being but
also
Linking Words
 businesses' productivity. Appropriate free
time
Use synonyms
 length provides an opportunity to spend
time
Use synonyms
 on emotional relationships , which supports individuals' mental health. With balanced
work
Use synonyms
-rest
time
Use synonyms
, individuals have enough
time
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 to interact with their families, friends, and loved ones, which supports their health from emotional and mental aspects. Studies show emotional interaction tends to engage the brain’s reward systems (dopamine pathway), which contributes to feelings of well-being, motivation, and purpose.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a fair free
time
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
work
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 week provides a great chance to gain training both in
professional
Correct article usage
the professional
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 field and individual development. Educated and skilled employees can increase any organisation's productivity, even though educating needs
time
Use synonyms
 and a fresh mind that can only be achieved with enough
time
Use synonyms
 on rest days.
For instance
Linking Words
, many companies in Japan encourage their employees to attend weekend skill workshops or online training courses. Employees who have adequate rest on weekends are more motivated and mentally refreshed to participate in
such
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 programs.
As a result
Linking Words
, they return to
work
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 with new knowledge and improved problem-solving abilities.
This
Linking Words
 continuous learning not only enhances their personal development but
also
Linking Words
 boosts the
overall
Linking Words
 productivity and innovation of the organisation. In conclusion, in our productivity-oriented era, forcing labourers to
work
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 intensively can not support
businesses
Fix the agreement mistake
business
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 objectives. I assume they need to shift to an extended weekend model to provide opportunities for both emotional engagement and gaining knowledge for their staff.
This
Linking Words
 brilliant approach not only supports a mental health state in society, but
also
Linking Words
 assures them about reaching a high level of industriousness.

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task achievement
Your view is clear, and you give reasons and one example. To raise your score, add a stronger, more full conclusion and more real facts or data to support your view.
coherence cohesion
Link your ideas with small phrases that show cause and result. Use short, clear sentences. Put one main idea in each paragraph.
stance
You state a clear view and stand fast on it.
structure
There is a clear shape with an intro, body, and a conclusion.
evidence
You use a real example from Japan to back up the point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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