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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie charts below show the online sales for retail sectors in New Zealand in 2003 and 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The pie charts
depicts
Correct subject-verb agreement
depict
show examples
 the retail revenues for four categories on the Internet, namely
travel
Use synonyms
, film/music, books and
clothes
Use synonyms
, in New Zealand between 2003 and 2013. On the whole, it is apparent that the online sales of
travel
Use synonyms
 and
clothes
Use synonyms
 declined sharply,
that
Change preposition
while
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
those for
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
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 the other two experienced a reverse trend.
According to
Linking Words
 the charts,
travel
Use synonyms
's online revenue accounted for
above one third
Replace the word
more than one-third
show examples
 in 2003, which was the highest. At the same time, nearly a quarter of the online sales
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
clothes
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the lowest position belonged to books with around 20%, sharing the same amount
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 that for film/music. After a period of 10 years, the sales of
travel
Use synonyms
 went down moderately to about 30%. Sharing the same tendency, the data for
clothes
Use synonyms
 saw a significant decrease to approximately 15%, being the least goods sold online.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the data for books and film/music went through a remarkable rise to 22% and 33% respectively, in which the latter took the highest ranking.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words travel, clothes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
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