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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The rise of fast fashion and easily disposable goods has contributed to a significant increase in waste and environmental pollution. What are the primary causes of this overconsumption, and what strategies can be adopted to promote more sustainable consumption habits?

In today's contemporary world, there are ongoing concerns about
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental contamination and
an
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 notable increase in
waste
Use synonyms
 regarding to the rising popularity of fashion.
As a result
Linking Words
 of
overcunsumption
Correct your spelling
overconsumption
 and throwaway
culture
Add a comma
culture,
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 the
waste
Use synonyms
 quantity increasing, but
this
Linking Words
 can be tackled by offering some alternatives and better
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
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regulations
Correct word choice
and regulations
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 on
waste
Use synonyms
managment
Correct your spelling
management
.  On the one hand, accessibility and fast consumption have made
waste
Use synonyms
 generation inevitable.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
fashion
Correct article usage
the fashion
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 industry
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 their products
by
Change preposition
with
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 cheap and disposable materials but with excessive
packaking
Correct your spelling
packaging
for attracting
Change preposition
to attract
show examples
consumers
Check wording
consumers'
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interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
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.
Hence
Linking Words
, they gain monetary success and
bolsters
Correct subject-verb agreement
bolster
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 brand image, the consequences of
this
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 process
creates
Correct subject-verb agreement
create
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catastrophic
Correct article usage
a catastrophic
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 atmosphere globally.
For example
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, The North Face produced raincoats by non-biodegradable material two years ago
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
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 coats
become
Wrong verb form
became
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 unwearable in one year
due to
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 cheap production. The mass thrown increased the pollution level, as
this
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 material will not
be
Verb problem
apply
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decompose in nature
thousands
Change preposition
for thousands
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 of years.  Moving
further
Linking Words
, there are several ways to bridge over consumerism. One effective way to deal with
this
Linking Words
 problem is by imposing strict regulations and policies on
waste
Use synonyms
managment
Correct your spelling
management
.
According to
Linking Words
 a report published by Trinity College Dublin, the
governments
Check wording
government's
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 new policies about
fashion
Correct article usage
the fashion
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 industry,
such
Linking Words
 as increasing tax rates and banning some disposable
materials
Punctuation problem
materials,
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 reduced the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
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 of pollution in China within five years.
Also
Linking Words
, individuals must own up
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 responsibility of taking measures to preserve
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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.  In conclusion, I would say that solving
over
Change preposition
apply
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consumerism issues can be tackled
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the support of both governments and individuals
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 taking some responsibility and sustainable
measurements
Replace the word
measures
show examples
.

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content
Explain each main point with more detail and add more facts or examples to back them up.
language
Check grammar and spelling. Use clear, simple sentences.
structure
Use clear link words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
task achievement
Have a stronger view in the introduction and keep your main idea in the conclusion.
content
You discuss both causes and solutions.
structure
There is a clear introduction and a conclusion.
content
There is some use of examples to support ideas.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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