IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In the
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
 world, the
issues
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 increasing
traffic
Use synonyms
 pressure and
pollution
Use synonyms
 are concerning for everyone.
While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 suggest that increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
 is the best solution for the problems, I believe that increasing
Use synonyms
petrol
Correct article usage
the petrol
show examples
price
Use synonyms
 is not the optimal method to solve the
issues
Use synonyms
. I suggest that
promote
Wrong verb form
promoting
show examples
 public
transport
Use synonyms
 is the ultimate solution. Some
people
Use synonyms
 deem that
traffic
Use synonyms
 and
pollution
Use synonyms
issues
Use synonyms
 can be solved by increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 of
petrol
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the
traffic
Use synonyms
 pressure will not be minimised because of electric vehicles. As the
petrol
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 increases, more
people
Use synonyms
 might turn to the market of electric
cars
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 will choose different types of
cars
Use synonyms
 without
sacrifice
Replace the word
sacrificing
show examples
 the mobility of their lifestyle.
This
Linking Words
 means the total number of
cars
Use synonyms
 on
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
 will constantly increase. Meanwhile, the process of production from various factories and
delivery
Correct article usage
the delivery
show examples
 of new
electrical
Correct word choice
electric
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 generate more
pollution
Use synonyms
 .
Also
Linking Words
, the lifespan of
battery
Fix the agreement mistake
batteries
show examples
 in electric
cars
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 lead to more
issues
Use synonyms
 in
recycle
Replace the word
recycling
show examples
 and waste management.
Therefore
Linking Words
, increasing
petrol
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 is not the most ideal option. The best
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
 is building public
transport
Use synonyms
 facilities in the long run. Many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer private vehicles over public
tranpost
Correct your spelling
transportation
due to
Linking Words
 mobility.
People
Use synonyms
 have more
fliexibility
Correct your spelling
flexibility
 to drive to their destination where public
transport
Use synonyms
 only
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 limited stations.
Thus
Linking Words
, building more
transport
Use synonyms
 facilities is necessary to attract more
passenegers
Correct your spelling
passengers
. If more
people
Use synonyms
 choose to take public transportation, both
traffic
Use synonyms
 and
pollution
Use synonyms
 problems will be minimised.
Overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 increasing
petrol
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 option for solving
traffic
Use synonyms
 and
pullution
Correct your spelling
pollution
issues
Use synonyms
, it is not the best solution. Building public transportation
facilites
Correct your spelling
facilities
 is the best and ultimate
soltion
Correct your spelling
solution
 for the
issues
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task response
State a clear view in the intro and keep it in all paragraphs.
Task response
Add more facts or clear examples to back the view.
Coherence and cohesion
Link ideas well with simple words and signs so the text flows.
Language
Fix spell and grammar; use short, simple sentences.
Structure
Make three clear parts: intro, body, and conclusion; each with 2-3 lines.
Task response
The writer shows a clear view that petrol price is not the best fix.
Idea development
The idea of using public transport to cut traffic is good.
Structure
There is a basic plan and some order in the writing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: