IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

These days, more and more people are going to other countries for significant periods of time, either, to find a job or to study. There are clearly many benefits to doing this, but people who live abroad can also see some difficulties discuss of advantages and disadvantages of living and working in a foreign country.

The topic of living in other
countries
Use synonyms
 has been controversial. Whilst many advocate that young
people
Use synonyms
 significantly move to other
countries
Use synonyms
 to chase their
drem
Correct your spelling
dream
 jobs or study for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long periods, others argue
otherwise
Linking Words
. Personally, I am inclined to the view that the merits outweigh the drawbacks. One of the most important reasons for finding a job or
development
Replace the word
developing
show examples
 their knowledge is that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
countries
Use synonyms
 have more
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 or
more
Correct word choice
higher
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 income
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
people
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 may want to
rasie
Correct your spelling
raise
 significant salaries by
move
Replace the word
moving
show examples
 to a better
country
Use synonyms
, since the living allowance in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
 may
higher
Verb problem
be higher
show examples
 than their original
courtry
Correct your spelling
country
, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to
gain
Wrong verb form
gaining
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 more
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the education ranking in a foreign
country
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 better than original
country
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 can enhance
people
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's
cognative
Correct your spelling
cognitive
knowledge
Punctuation problem
knowledge,
show examples
strengthens
Wrong verb form
strengthening
show examples
this
Linking Words
 point.
For example
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
 the latest survey conducted by Bangkok University, it was revealed that 60
percent
Use the right word
A percentage
show examples
 of students who are going to graduate tend to move to other
countries
Use synonyms
 for
further
Linking Words
more
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
show examples
career
.
Check wording
opportunities.
show examples
This
Linking Words
 example shows that living in other
countries
Use synonyms
 plays a major role in developing
career
Correct article usage
a career
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 and upgrading salaries.
However
Linking Words
, the major drawback to moving to foreign
countries
Use synonyms
 is that some
people
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 may feel
home sick
Use the right word
homesick
show examples
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
feel more
stressful
Correct word choice
stressed
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 and anxious.
This
Linking Words
 is particularly disadvantageous if
people
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 cannot control their
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
due to
Linking Words
 loneliness
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
will
Verb problem
may
show examples
 lead them to
may
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not achieve goals. It seems a pity if moving to other
countries
Use synonyms
 is unable to benefit because of the emotional limitation. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 relocation to other places has
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
certain
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
, its advantages clearly outweigh them, especially
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
countries
Use synonyms
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 more
oppotunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 or more income
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 may want to
rasie
Correct your spelling
raise
 significant salaries and the education ranking in a foreign
country
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 better than original
country
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Plan your essay with three parts: intro with clear stance, body with two sides, and a short conclusion.
content
Talk more on both sides and give simple examples to back up your points.
language
Check spelling and grammar and use simple sentence patterns to avoid mistakes.
coherence
Use clear linking words to show how ideas are connected (for example: on the one hand, however, in addition).
content
The view is stated and the essay tries to discuss both sides.
structure
There are some linking words and a few good ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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