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Writing Samples
Band 6

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information tlecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where rele ant.

The bar chart below shows the top ten countries for the production and consumption of electricity in 2014. Summarise the information tlecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where rele ant.
The diagram depicts the amount of
electricity
Use synonyms
 consumption and production in billion
Use synonyms
KWh
Use the right word
kWh
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 of ten individual countries from all over the world in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
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2014.
Overall
Linking Words
, there is a clear
comparision
Correct your spelling
comparison
 between those countries
Linking Words
whereas
Punctuation problem
, whereas
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 China shows
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
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electricity
Use synonyms
 consumption and production rate
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 Korea presents the lowest rate in both categories. China and the USA
stands
Correct subject-verb agreement
stand
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 with a large number of
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
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 from the rest eight countries. China and the USA
use
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 5,322
Use synonyms
KWh
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kWh
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 and 3,866
KWh
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
respectively
Punctuation problem
, respectively
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, where they produce 5,398
Use synonyms
KWh
Use the right word
kWh
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 and 4,099
Use synonyms
KWh
Use the right word
kWh
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which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is a little more than they
use
Use synonyms
.
As well as
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 Japan, India, Canada,
Franch
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France
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,
Brazil
Correct word choice
and Brazil
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 produce more
electricity
Use synonyms
 than they
use
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, only Germany could not generate enough
electricity
Use synonyms
 as
per need
Wrong verb form
needed
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. It
consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
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 more than 50
Use synonyms
KWh
Fix the agreement mistake
kWh more
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 than it
produce
Correct subject-verb agreement
produces
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Russia is
also
Linking Words
 not well enough to balance between consumption and production. It
generate
Correct subject-verb agreement
generates
show examples
 1,057
KWh
Use synonyms
electricity
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
use
Correct subject-verb agreement
uses
show examples
 1,038
Use synonyms
KWh
Use the right word
kWh
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, kwh, use with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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