IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007.

The bar chart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007.
The bar chart illustrates the amount of
time
Use synonyms
 spent
that
Change preposition
by
show examples
teenagers
Use synonyms
 in Chester doing 7
activities
Use synonyms
 .From the
year
Use synonyms
 2002 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
teenagers
Use synonyms
 from Chester spent the longest periods of
time
Use synonyms
 watching television over 6 years.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the least period of
time
Use synonyms
 was for bowling , the average doing various
activities
Use synonyms
 was about 10 to 15
hours
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
. In terms of
activities
Use synonyms
 , the highest activity that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 spent
mature
Correct word choice
their free
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 doing
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from 2002 to 2007 was watching television
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
average
Correct article usage
an average
show examples
 duration of 20
hours
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
 . Shopping and watching DVDs
Linking Words
also
Verb problem
are also
show examples
had consider
Wrong verb form
considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
higher
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
 of
time
Use synonyms
between
Punctuation problem
, between
show examples
 10 to 15
hours
Use synonyms
 per
year
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Chester
teenagers
Use synonyms
 spent
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 doing bowling with less than 5
hours
Use synonyms
 over the years.
However
Linking Words
 ,
activities
Use synonyms
 like doing( going to pups/Dicos, doing homework
Punctuation problem
,
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
) had
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lower period of
time
Use synonyms
 from 5to 20 over the years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words time, teenagers, activities, year, hours with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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