IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries senior positions have higher salaries compared to those of young workers of the same company. Some people think this isn't justified. Do you agree or disagree?

A good salary is
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of significant part of better career prospects. Many companies around the world pay higher
income
Use synonyms
 to
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 senior
employees
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the younger workers are paid less.
While
Linking Words
 few people argue
that
Linking Words
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 inequality in pay is not justified.
However
Linking Words
,
In
Fix capitalization
in
show examples
 my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 system of higher
income
Use synonyms
 to senior
staff
Use synonyms
 is acceptable.
Firstly
Linking Words
, if all the workers of a firm are paid equivalent
income
Use synonyms
 ,
employees
Use synonyms
 would lack motivation to work. The core reason for getting promoted or advancing in a
job
Use synonyms
 is
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 associated with it, and a greater
income
Use synonyms
 is one of them. A similar or higher
payrate
Correct your spelling
pay rate
 than that of the senior
staff
Use synonyms
 would mitigate all these advantages.
As a result
Linking Words
 ,people would be satisfied with their present
job
Use synonyms
 requirements and
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be not
Correct word order
not be
show examples
 encouraged to perform better.
In addition
Linking Words
 to that,
this
Linking Words
 policy would lead to injustice to the senior
staff
Use synonyms
 .
This
Linking Words
 is because working at
senior
Correct article usage
a senior
show examples
 level in a company requires handling greater
job
Use synonyms
 responsibilities and burden,
while
Linking Words
 those working at
entry
Correct article usage
the entry
show examples
 level often face
this
Linking Words
job
Use synonyms
-related stress and challenges less. If both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
employees
Use synonyms
 are paid
equal
Correct article usage
an equal
show examples
 amount of money , those working with high
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 and
greater
Correct article usage
a greater
show examples
job
Use synonyms
 load will not be rewarded .
As a result
Linking Words
, it
necessary
Verb problem
is necessary
show examples
 to have a
criteria
Fix the agreement mistake
criterion
show examples
 of pay which enables
salary
Correct article usage
a salary
show examples
according to
Linking Words
 the
Use synonyms
employees
Check wording
employee's
show examples
 contribution to the company.
To conclude
Linking Words
, if new entrants or younger
staff
Use synonyms
 are paid higher or similar earnings to
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
those in higher
position
Fix the agreement mistake
positions
show examples
, it would lead to negative outcomes of decreased productivity and injustice towards the efforts of senior
staff
Use synonyms
Linking Words
according
Punctuation problem
, according
show examples
 to my opinion.

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task response
Be clear about your view in the first line. Say you agree from the start.
task response
Give one clear reason, one idea per paragraph, and add a simple example.
structure
Use a simple plan: intro, one idea in each body paragraph, then a short end.
coherence
Link ideas with easy words like and, but, also, so to help flow.
grammar
Fix small grammar errors and keep sentences short.
content
You show a clear view that senior pay can be right.
content
You give a reason about work effort and pay.
structure
You end with a short close statement.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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