IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays
with
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, with
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 all the
technology
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technological
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advance
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advances
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, a big part of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society is replacing face-to-face interactions
for
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with
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 connections
in
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on
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 social media. I believe that
although
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this
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 development has numerous benefits for the population, it
also
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 brings many disadvantages, particularly in
Correct article usage
the long
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long term
Use the right word
long-term
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 period and to
people
Use synonyms
´s mental health. Many
people
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 are changing their human connections
habits
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apply
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. Back in the day, the usual was
meet
Verb problem
to meet
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 your colleagues or family to have dinner and chat about life and events. Today,
this
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 has been left behind for short
messages
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message
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 exchange,
for example
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. The kids are replacing outside
plays
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play
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 with their friends for screen time interaction, video games at home, or even just
scroll
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scrolling
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 on diverse apps
during
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apply
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all day.
This
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 trend has numerous downgrades
in
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on
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 a social level,
people
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 could start to unlearn how to interact in person, or even unconsciously start to
social withdrawal
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socially withdraw
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, feel excluded from their
pairs
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peers
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 and society. Another cause for
that is
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tha
Correct your spelling
that
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there exist
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exist
Correct subject-verb agreement
exists
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 a certain pressure to show a perfect life on social
medias
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media
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, even though most of the
times
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time
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is
Correct pronoun usage
it is
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 unreal.
However
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, it still generates
people
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 comparing themselves and feeling unhappy about their own
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
.
Furthermore
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, another disadvantage
occuring
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occurring
 mainly between teenagers
,
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apply
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 is
the
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apply
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cyber bullying
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cyberbullying
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, as
people
Use synonyms
 usually feel easier to judge and make bad comments about other
people
Use synonyms
 on
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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.
This
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 situation could lead to high levels of anxiety, low
self-steem
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self-esteem
 and depression for
the ones
Use the right word
those
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receiveing
Correct your spelling
receiving
 the digital attacks. In conclusion, my opinion is that the replacement of face-to-face interactions
for
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with
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 the use of social media is
unegable
Correct your spelling
undeniable
 a
donwgrade
Correct your spelling
downgrade
 for all the society, affecting not only our social skills but
also
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 our mental health.

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task
Start with a clear view in the first sentence.
idea
The essay shows an idea that social media can affect mental health.
structure
Intro and conclusion exist.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
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