IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the reals need of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

In
this
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 era, as technology progresses all previous methods have changed as well.
Consequently
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, advertising now focuses on popular goods rather than society's necessities.
This
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 shift enhances materialistic values, particularly among the young generation, who are heavily influeced by endorsement, celebrity marketing, and other promotional tools. First of all, these marketing campaigns affect the society not only on their lifestyle but it worsen their well-being and their veiw to life which cause lake of confidance.
For instance
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, a teenager which is in a sensitive period of life, with the changes which is facing, all of a suden find themselves in a world of various brand new stuff, comparing their life with what they do not have so and give them the feeling being seprated from others which is going to command them toward ostentatious spending. From other hand, rapid expension of branding has taken away public from their fundamental requirements to consumerism. For exaple in previous decades, scientists were the celebrities but now everything is focused on the world of fashion.
This
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 point is very disappointing in nowadays moving forward people to fabricate
instead
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 of being after leaning new skills. In conclusion, we can say
that is
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 what happening lately which because of promotional efforts which brought us to surging demands of valueless things.

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structure
Plan your work. Write the plan as a short outline with three parts: intro, body, and conclusion.
introduction
Make your view clear in the first paragraph. State if you agree or disagree, and how strong you feel.
coherence
Use a clear topic sentence at each paragraph to show the main idea.
coherence
Link ideas with simple join words (and, but, so, then) to show the flow from one sentence to the next.
examples
Give one small example in each paragraph that fits the point you make.
grammar
Check spell and grammar. Fix common misses and make sentences short and easy to read.
content
The writer takes a clear view on advertising and society and gives the main idea.
content
There are ideas about how teens may be affected by ads.
content
Some sentences show a real link between ads and needs.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer behavior
  • perceived needs
  • emotional appeal
  • brand image
  • marketing strategies
  • materialistic values
  • consumerism
  • manipulative tactics
  • endorsements
  • celebrity marketing
  • promotional tools
  • status symbols
  • luxury
What to do next:
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