IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1

The line grapf shows that Consumption of fast food by australian teenagers

The graph illustrates
ho
Use the right word
how
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 much fast food was eaten by teenagers in Australia between 1975 and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 consumption of Hamburgers and Pizza experienced
upward
Correct article usage
an upward
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 trend,
while
Linking Words
 the reverse trend was true for Fish and Chips. In 1975, Hamburgers' consumption stood
in
Change preposition
at
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 approximately 10%. After
that
Add a comma
that,
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 it rapidly increased in the next decade and stopped at about 82% before jumping to 100% in 1995. When it comes to Pizza, in the
start
Punctuation problem
start,
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 there was almost the same data as pizza.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
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 trend
underwent
Verb problem
apply
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roughly tripled in the next 10 years. The figure grew significantly between 1985 and 1995, when over 83% of teenagers ate them.
Then
Linking Words
 remained unchanged till the end of the period
In
Change preposition
At
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 the beginning of the
period
Add a comma
period,
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 fish and chips
eaten
Verb problem
were eaten
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 by almost 100% of teenagers in Australia.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 it experienced
Correct article usage
a rapidly
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rapidly declining
Replace the word
rapid decline
show examples
 in 25 years and stopped at 40% in the end.

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structure
Plan the essay: add a short intro, an overview, then body paragraphs with clear facts from the graph.
content
Stick to facts from the graph. check numbers and avoid guesses or wrong figures.
grammar
Use simple grammar and short sentences to make the writing clear.
coherence
Link ideas with clear connect words like first, next, and finally to show order.
conclusion
End with a clear short summary of the main trend.
content
There is a clear idea to show trends in two foods over time.
planning
The text tries to give numbers for some years.
coherence
The essay uses an overview plus detail, which is a good plan.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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