IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some countries, criminal trials are shown to the public on television. Do the advantages of this tren outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, some countries
shows
Correct subject-verb agreement
show
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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criminal trials
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as capital punishment
to
Punctuation problem
, to
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 the citizens on TV or social media.
This
Linking Words
 trend has several advantages
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as making
people
Use synonyms
 aware of the consequences of
certin
Correct your spelling
certain
crimes
Use synonyms
, making them afraid of
doing
Verb problem
committing
show examples
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the crime rates will be reduced, but it
also
Linking Words
 has some disadvantages like seeing
this
Linking Words
 content can affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
children
Check wording
children's
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 mental health, as in
there
Use the right word
their
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age they should not watch
this
Linking Words
 kind of
topics
Check wording
content
show examples
. From my perspective, governments should
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
this
Linking Words
 approach as it
a
Verb problem
is a
show examples
beneficial way to tell
people
Use synonyms
 that they must follow rules and to prove that rules are strict. A major benefit of displaying trails is that
people
Use synonyms
 will have the knowledge about the
Use synonyms
country
Check wording
country's
show examples
 regulations .
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
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because
Verb problem
is because
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 the individuals will try to avoid
this
Linking Words
 type of
Use synonyms
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 families will teach their kids about the results of these
crimes
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
The ministry
Use the right word
the Ministry
show examples
 of
interior
Fix capitalization
Interior
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 in Saudi Arabia prefers to demonstrate some trials on
their
Fix the agreement mistake
its
show examples
 own website.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they publish
judgements
Use the right word
judgments
show examples
 of
certin
Correct your spelling
certain
crimes
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
,
doing
Verb problem
using
show examples
this
Linking Words
 method can enhance the security of the
country
Use synonyms
, and many
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
developed
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 do
this
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are many drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 showing criminal trials to the
public
Punctuation problem
public,
show examples
 like it can cause dangerous effects on children.
This
Linking Words
 is because
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
seeing
this
Linking Words
 kind of content may develop some psychological conditions
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as terror
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they might want to be famous like the criminals they have seen on television. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 should not see these trails, as it can change how
tey
Use the right word
they
show examples
 are thinking, I believe that
this
Linking Words
 is the best way to spread safety
among
Change preposition
throughout
show examples
 the
country
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Clear plan with intro, two body parts and a conclusion.
content
Shows a view that trials on TV can warn people.
evidence
Uses a real country example to back a point.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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