IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The illustrations below show how chocolate is produced. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features.

The graph indicates information about
manufacturing
Correct article usage
the manufacturing
show examples
 process of chocolate
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
get
Verb problem
goes
show examples
 through several stages.  
Overall
Linking Words
, it is clear from the diagram that the production cycle is a complex, multi-stage,
started
Wrong verb form
starts
show examples
 with chocolate
Use synonyms
beans
Fix the agreement mistake
bean
show examples
 cultivation
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and
finished
Replace the word
finishes
show examples
 with the final product.  In detail,
according to
Linking Words
 what is shown, the first step was growing cacao
tree
Fix the agreement mistake
trees
show examples
 in South America, Africa, and Indonesia. Afterwards, nurtured red pods ripped from the tree,
then
Linking Words
cutted
Correct your spelling
cut
 to get white cocoa
beans
Use synonyms
 and fermented in huge boxes. In the next stage, farmers spread them in boxes under the sun
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 to
get
Verb problem
dry
show examples
 dried
beans
Use synonyms
.  In terms of
further
Linking Words
 processing, they
packed
Verb problem
were packed
show examples
 in huge sacks and delivered to the factory by train or lorry.
Moreover
Linking Words
, collected
beans
Use synonyms
 passed through
roasting
Correct article usage
the roasting
show examples
 process under 350
heat
Correct your spelling
°C
, and
moved
Verb problem
were moved
show examples
 to a huge pot for removing shell outer shell by
getting crushed
Wrong verb form
crushing
show examples
. In the
last
Linking Words
 stage,
beans
Use synonyms
smashed
Verb problem
were smashed
show examples
 by two huge disks and
as a
Linking Words
result
Punctuation problem
result,
show examples
 liquid chocolate finished its operation.

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task response
Task response: The report should have a clear overview at the start and a short summary at the end. Your writing shows steps, but details and exact stages are not clear. Stick to one good flow from bean to bar.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: Put steps in a clear order and use words like first, next, then, finally. Link ideas with simple connectors and keep one idea per line.
structure
The piece shows a sequence of steps from beans to chocolate.
content
It mentions the main stages: growing, drying, and processing.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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