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Band 6.5

the graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.

the graph below shows the unemployment rates in the US and Japan between March 1993 and March 1999.
The line graph depicts data regarding unworking ratios in the US and Japan during
March
Use synonyms
 1993 and
March
Use synonyms
 1999.
Overall
Linking Words
, as it is
evident
Punctuation problem
evident,
show examples
 the US showed the highest proportion of
unmeploye
Correct your spelling
unemployed
 people in
March
Use synonyms
 1993
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 had a decreasing trend during the given time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Japan
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 had an
incrideble
Correct your spelling
incredible
 low percentage of jobless people, jumped to double
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of 1993 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1999. In
March
Use synonyms
 1993, the
rates
Fix the agreement mistake
rate
show examples
 of unemployed people was 2.3 in Japan, which increased constantly and reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
3.2 in
March
Use synonyms
 1995. After a minimum amount of
leveling
Change the spelling
levelling
show examples
 off in 1996, it jumped
dramaticaly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 to 4.0 and 4.7 in
March
Use synonyms
 1998 and
1999
Punctuation problem
1999,
show examples
 respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the US
with
Verb problem
had with
show examples
 highest rates of unemployment
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was 7.0 in
March
Use synonyms
 1993 gradually declined followed by with 6.0 in
March
Use synonyms
 1994.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it collapsed over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time to 4.9 in
March
Use synonyms
 1998.
Although
Linking Words
 it decreased
seccessfully
Correct your spelling
successfully
 to 4.1 in
March1999
Correct your spelling
March 1999
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "furthermore".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words march with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "jumped" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Unemployment rate
  • Trend
  • Comparison
  • Period
  • Sharp increase/decrease
  • Correlation
  • Economic policies
  • Technological advancements
  • Global economic conditions
  • Consumer spending
  • Social welfare
  • Public sentiment
  • Predictions
  • Economic strategies
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