IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

the graph below shows the rate of smoking per 1000 people in Someland from 1960 to 2000.

the graph below shows the rate of smoking per 1000 people in Someland from 1960 to 2000.
The line graph
illustartes
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 information regarding the rate of smoking for every 1000 people in Someland
during
Change preposition
from
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 1960 to 2000. Which is a period of 40 years.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is observed
trough
Use the right word
through
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 the chart that the figures of
women
Use synonyms
 were lower than
men
Use synonyms
troughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
 the given time.
Which both
Correct pronoun usage
Both
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gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
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 had a decreasing trend. In 1960, below 100 was the rate of
women
Use synonyms
 who were smoking and in case of
Use synonyms
men
Punctuation problem
men,
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 it was followed by 600 in the same year.
during
Change preposition
From
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 1965 to
1975
Punctuation problem
1975,
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 the
figures
Check wording
number
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 of smoking
men
Use synonyms
 decreased to 500.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, there was a difference of approximately 50 between
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 in 2000.
However
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 jumped from 80 to nearly 200 during
10
Correct article usage
the 10
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 years.
While
Linking Words
 it improved to more than 300 during 1975 and 1985.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by a minimum dropping from 290 to 200 in 1990 and
2000
Punctuation problem
2000,
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 respectively.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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