IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The chart compares the weekly spending of families in one country, from 1968 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 used to spend most of their money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
esstintial
Correct your spelling
essential
 things like food, housing , and clothing,
while
Linking Words
 in the
last
Linking Words
 few years they had
adapoted
Correct your spelling
adapted
 various ways to spend their income in,
such
Linking Words
 as
leisure
Use synonyms
 and transportation.
To being
Verb problem
Beginning
show examples
 in 1968, families
had focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
 more
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 necessary things like food
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 was the highest spending
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 that time by 35%,
while
Linking Words
 housing and clothing were the same
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 10%
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
each
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, after
Punctuation problem
. After
show examples
that
Punctuation problem
that,
show examples
 they
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 most of their income
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
 and transport were both of them were under 10%.
Then
Linking Words
 their
mainly
Replace the word
main
show examples
 income
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 in household and personal goods, to be the same around 7%.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 they didn't spend that much on fuel power
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was over 5% only. In
constrat
Correct your spelling
contrast
, food had a sharp
declined
Replace the word
decline
show examples
 in 2018 to be just over 15%,
while
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
leisure
Use synonyms
, transport and housing
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 had seen a significant
increased
Replace the word
increase
show examples
 throughout the years to be ( over 20% for
leisure
Use synonyms
second
Punctuation problem
, second
show examples
 highest, just under 20% for housing and less than 15% for transportation).
Next,
Linking Words
household goods
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 remained the same, but the rest had shown
strong
Correct article usage
a strong
show examples
 fall, like clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 had dropped by half of their
spend
Check wording
spending
show examples
 to 5%
instead
Linking Words
 of 10%,
then
Linking Words
 personal
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
, which had
fall
Replace the word
fallen
show examples
 to
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
less than 5%
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
Linking Words
Finally
Punctuation problem
Finally,
show examples
 fuel and
pwer
Correct your spelling
power
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
this
Linking Words
 one had a slight
decreased
Replace the word
decrease
show examples
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words leisure with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • compare
  • spending patterns
  • allocated
  • weekly income
  • significant changes
  • essential items
  • food
  • housing
  • clothing
  • leisure
  • communication
  • increase
  • decrease
  • twofold rise
  • substantial increase
  • quadrupling
  • declined
  • food and drink
  • slight increase
  • prioritizing
  • necessities
  • transitioned
  • portio
  • non-essential items
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