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Writing Samples
Band 7

The line graph gives data about the number of users of five different communication services worldwide from 1998 to 2008.

The line graph gives data about the number of users of five different communication services worldwide from 1998 to 2008.
The graph illustrates how many people used five types of networking services in the world between 1998 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is notable that the number of
users
Use synonyms
 of all types of services underwent an upward trend,
whereas
Linking Words
 cellular phone
service
Use synonyms
 showed the largest increase, far exceeding other types of communication services. Landline
service
Use synonyms
 was commonly utilised globally, by around 15k active
users
Use synonyms
 from 1998 to 2002.
Then
Linking Words
 the figure slightly increased to 20k
users
Use synonyms
 before declining to about 18k.
Initially
Linking Words
, the cellular phone
service
Use synonyms
 ranked second with approximately 5k
users
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 trend
then
Linking Words
 constantly grew and took dominance in 2002 before reaching a peak of 65.000 people using it in 2008.
Initially
Linking Words
, Internet
service
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 almost the same as Cellular
service
Use synonyms
 consumers (4.8k).
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 in the next half decade
this
Linking Words
 number doubled, after 2004 , overtaking landlines and finishing at just above 20,000 consumers
at the end
Linking Words
. Fixed broadband was not introduced until 2004, after which it attracted nearly 3,000
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 over the following four years.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "initially".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words users, service, k with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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