IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that the gove rnment should spend more money on public services rather than on arts such as music and theatre. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is
agrued
Correct your spelling
argued
 that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should allocate more funds to public
services
Use synonyms
 as compared to
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. I agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to
large
Correct article usage
a large
show examples
 extent ,
however
Linking Words
 thorough analysis of
given
Correct article usage
the given
show examples
 standpoint is necessary to validate my perspective.
Emphasizing
Change the spelling
Emphasising
show examples
 the possible factors to advocate the priorities
public
Change preposition
of public
show examples
services
Use synonyms
, the major one could be
improvment
Correct your spelling
improvement
 in citizens' living standard. To be precise, better government
services
Use synonyms
 like healthcare, education, and transport provide
Correct article usage
a comfartable
show examples
comfartable
Correct your spelling
comfortable
 and
convineint
Correct your spelling
convenient
 lifestyle to everyone.
Thus
Linking Words
, when high authorities spend more money on hospitals, schools and public transport, it ensures better living conditions for everyone. Another remarkable aspect is that civic
services
Use synonyms
 are
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
show examples
 need of natives. In
othercwords
Correct your spelling
other words
, interest in music and
theater
Change the spelling
theatre
show examples
 is optional, and people can easily survive without these
arts
Use synonyms
, but government
services
Use synonyms
 offer safety and health to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, better police, fire
departnment
Correct your spelling
departments
 ensure people's safety.
Therefore
Linking Words
, offering more budget to public
services
Use synonyms
 can lead to a
storng
Correct your spelling
strong
 country. Not only
this
Linking Words
, good
infrastucture
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
show examples
 the nation's
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 growth
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
Creative
Correct article usage
the Creative
show examples
 industries create jobs and attract tourism .
Conversely
Linking Words
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
, a small amount of funding should still be allocated to the
arts
Use synonyms
 because they preserve a culture and identity. Government-supported festivals and art exhibitions can promote national unity and tourism, which indirectly
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
 the economy.
To sum up
Linking Words
, it is concluded that no doubt, some amount of funds should be
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 on
arts
Use synonyms
 because it keeps heritage alive,
neverthless
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 benefits rendered
bypublic
Correct your spelling
by public
services
Use synonyms
 cannot be ignored .

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grammar
Fix many grammar and spelling errors. Use short, plain sentences so read is easy.
task response
Plan your essay first. State your view in one line, then add two or three reasons in order.
coherence
Write one main idea in each paragraph. Use a simple link word to show order, such as first, also, but, then.
examples
Use one clear example for each reason and explain how it helps your point.
vocabulary
Check key words like health, school, transport, and culture. Keep the words simple and correct.
content strength
The essay shows a view that public services are important.
structure strength
It gives ideas on safety and life quality that fit the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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