The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with prediction from 2030 to 2040

The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with prediction from 2030 to 2040
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph below gives information about the percentage of population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020 with prediction from 2030 to 2040
The graph below gives information about the percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
in four Asian
countries
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living in
cities
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from 1970 to 2020, including predictions from 2030–2040. Thailand had a mild
increase
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between the years of 1970
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
until
Correct word choice
and
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2040. The
population
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in Thailand increases from around 15% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
population
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up until
Change preposition
to
show examples
around 50% of
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
population
Use synonyms
of people living in
cities
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. Meanwhile,
Correct article usage
the Philippine
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Philippine
Use the right word
Philippines
show examples
has
relatively
Correct article usage
a relatively
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lower
increase
Use synonyms
going
Punctuation problem
, going
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from around 30% to
near
Replace the word
nearly
show examples
55% of
Use synonyms
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
living in the city. During the time period between 1970–2040,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
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Indonesia had one of the greatest increases, going from almost 10% of the total
population
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to around 60% of the total
population
Use synonyms
living in
cities
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between 1970–2020.
Although
Linking Words
all these other
countries
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had an
increase
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in
population
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
living in
cities
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, Malaysia ended up with the highest percentage of total
population
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living in
the city
Check wording
cities
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. Malaysia had a massive
increase
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, going from around 30% of the total
population
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to around 85% of the total
population
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living in
cities
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.
This
Linking Words
highlights that most of the Malaysian
population
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lives / prefers living in
cities
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. In
conclusion
Punctuation problem
conclusion,
show examples
all 4 of these Asian
countries
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had an
increase
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in
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
total
population
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living in
cities
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,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
Linking Words
however
Punctuation problem
however,
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some
countries
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had large increases
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
as Indonesia,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
meanwhile
Punctuation problem
, meanwhile
show examples
Philippines had the lowest
increase
Use synonyms
from 1970–2040.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 87%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words population, countries, cities, increase with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 9 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 6 times.
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