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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, young people communicate with friends and family through mostly social network sites, rather than other ways of communication like talking on the phone or face to face. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give some reason for your answer.

In
this
Linking Words
contamporary
Correct your spelling
contemporary
 era, youngsters prefer to connect with their loved
ones
Use synonyms
 through social platforms
instead
Linking Words
 of making a phone call or
meet
Replace the word
meeting
show examples
 in
person
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is entirely a negative development
due to
Linking Words
 multifarious reasons
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 will be discussed through
this
Linking Words
 essay. First and
formost
Correct your spelling
foremost
 reason is bonding. Young
ones
Use synonyms
 are not emotionally connected with their friends and family because of no personal meetings. They often
reply
Use the right word
rely
show examples
 on each
others
Check wording
other's
show examples
story
Fix the agreement mistake
stories
show examples
;
however
Linking Words
,
do
Correct pronoun usage
they do
show examples
 not exactly know about the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 of their loved
ones
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, with the assistance of social sites
youth
Punctuation problem
, youth
show examples
 can only be able to know as much as other
person
Use synonyms
 wants to show.
Therefore
Linking Words
, owing to
this
Linking Words
gap
Punctuation problem
gap,
show examples
 they failed to connect with their loved
ones
Use synonyms
.
Motreover
Correct your spelling
Moreover
,
people
Use synonyms
 often feel isolated- they have no one in
real
Replace the word
reality
show examples
 to talk with. They cannot share their thoughts with anyone as they
already
Verb problem
have already
show examples
 disconnected themselves because of social sites.
Secondly
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, it is extremely challenging to understand the emotions and intentions of
people
Use synonyms
 on social media. To
examplify
Correct your spelling
exemplify
, youngsters often make friends through these websites
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 it is very difficult to know how genuine the
person
Use synonyms
 is. Sometimes they fall
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 a trap of
stranger
Correct article usage
a stranger
show examples
 that may lead to some sort of dangerous actions.
According to
Linking Words
 the study conducted by Oxford
university
Fix capitalization
University
show examples
 the cyber
crime
Use the right word
cybercrime
show examples
 has
been
Verb problem
apply
show examples
increased by 20%
for
Change preposition
over
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 2 years.
Additionally
Linking Words
, during the bad days of life every
one
Check wording
everyone
show examples
needs a
person
Use synonyms
 who can support them in their bad but it is hard to get good friends on social sites. In conclusion,
although
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 social platforms are
excellent
Correct article usage
an excellent
show examples
 way to meet new
people
Use synonyms
, in
reality
Punctuation problem
reality,
show examples
these
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are making
people
Use synonyms
 isolated from their loved
ones
Use synonyms
.

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structure
Put one idea per paragraph and begin with a topic sentence.
language
Use simple words and fix big spelling errors so meaning is clear.
content
Give clear examples and explain how they show your point.
accuracy
Check names and facts, and use capital letters for proper nouns.
content
Your view is clear from the start.
structure
There is an intro, body, and conclusion.
coherence
Link words show order in ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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