IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

These days, people are forced to leave their family and friends in order to obtain a good job. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, humanity
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 obliged to leave their family and
friends
Use synonyms
 in order to get a nice job. In my opinion, there are more downsides
initially
Linking Words
, but everything will improve in the future.
This
Linking Words
 is because moving away from loved ones can be emotionally difficult and stressful at first.
People
Use synonyms
 need time to adapt to a new environment, make new
friends
Use synonyms
, and feel comfortable in a different place.
However
Linking Words
, over time, they can find better opportunities, develop new skills, and build a more stable life, which can make the decision worthwhile in the long run. Many
people
Use synonyms
 move to another city or even another country because they want a better career. At
first,
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 can be very difficult. They miss their family,
friends
Use synonyms
, and the place where they grew up. Some
people
Use synonyms
 feel lonely and sad because they cannot see their loved ones every day.
Also
Linking Words
, it can be hard to live in a new place, especially if the language and culture are different.
For example
Linking Words
, someone who moves abroad may struggle to understand local customs or make
friends
Use synonyms
 quickly. The situation can cause stress
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think that they made
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 decision.
However
Linking Words
, these feelings are usually temporary and become easier with time.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task
Make a clear end. Say if the good sides beat the bad.
structure
Plan first. Use a simple plan: idea, example, then wrap up.
coherence
Use linking words like but, so, and also to show contrast and result.
achievement
You show both sides and you take a view.
support
You give a real example of moving to a new place.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: