IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

These days, people are forced to leave their family and friends in order to obtain a good job. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, humanity
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 obliged to leave their family and
friends
Use synonyms
 in order to get a nice job. In my opinion, there are more downsides
initially
Linking Words
, but everything will improve in the future.
This
Linking Words
 is because moving away from loved ones can be emotionally difficult and stressful at first.
People
Use synonyms
 need
time
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 to adapt to a new environment, make new
friends
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, and feel comfortable in a different
place
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.
However
Linking Words
, over
time
Use synonyms
, they can find better opportunities, develop new skills, and build a more stable life, which can make the decision worthwhile in the long run. Many
people
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 move to another city or even another country because they want a better career. At
first,
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 can be very difficult. They miss their family,
friends
Use synonyms
, and the
place
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 where they grew up. Some
people
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 feel lonely and sad because they cannot see their loved ones every day.
Also
Linking Words
, it can be hard to live in a new
place
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, especially if the language and culture are different.
For example
Linking Words
, someone who moves abroad may struggle to understand local customs or make
friends
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 quickly. The situation can cause stress
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
people
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 think that they made
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
 decision.
However
Linking Words
, these feelings are usually temporary and become easier with
time
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, moving for a job brings lasting rewards.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Punctuation problem
hand,
show examples
 shifts to positives.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
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 can find better jobs with higher pay.
For example
Linking Words
 adds a clear supporting point.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, they grow personally by adapting to new places and learning skills like a new language.
Furthermore
Linking Words
 connects another benefit. Over
time
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, new friendships make the new
place
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 feel like home, making the move worthwhile. Concise wrap-up ties to long-term gains. In conclusion, despite early challenges like loneliness, moving for work offers better careers and personal growth. In conclusion signals the end, despite contrasts challenges. Ultimately, these benefits create но more fulfilling life. Ultimately ends optimistically, aligning with your introduction.

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planning
Plan your essay with a clear map. Start with a short intro that shows your view. Then two body parts: one on the problem of moving away, one on the gains. Finish with a short conclusion that links back to the intro.
coherence
Use simple linking words to make ideas join. Words like first, next, but, also, however, in addition can help.
grammar
Keep grammar simple and fix mistakes like subject-verb error and tense use. Use one idea per sentence and read aloud.
idea
The idea that moving has both bad and good sides is clear.
structure
There is a conclusion that restates main idea, showing structure.
content
The essay uses examples of loneliness and growth to support points.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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