some people think that shops should not be allowed to sell any food or drink that has scientifically been proven to have bad effects on people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that some markets should not be allowed to sell any
drink
or food that has proven to have a negative effect on individuals’ health. I firmly agree with Use synonyms
this
statement because bad food leads to health problems that will not end.
On the one hand, bad Linking Words
foods
lead to health problems. Some junk Use synonyms
foods
have a high quantity of sugar, more than 7KG in one glass of Use synonyms
drink
, Use synonyms
such
as Pepsi. Linking Words
For instance
, unhealthy food or Linking Words
drink
will lead to diseases, Use synonyms
such
as diabetes. Linking Words
For example
, a report from New York University in 2012, more than 43% of individuals live with diabetes, and some of them die.
Linking Words
One
the other hand, unhealthy meals lead to a high weight and will help to get a bad appearance. It is significant to reduce Use the right word
On
melas
that will increase our Check wording
melanin
weights
, without benefits. If people used to eat these Fix the agreement mistake
weight
Use synonyms
foods
Punctuation problem
foods,
that
will lead them to increase their Correct pronoun usage
it
weights
, which leads to body and mental issues. Fix the agreement mistake
weight
For example
, King Abdulaziz University conducted studies on international students, and the result is that more than 63% of international studentsLinking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
they
suffer Correct pronoun usage
apply
by
obesity, Change preposition
from
due to
Linking Words
eat
a lot of unhealthy Wrong verb form
eating
Use synonyms
drink
and Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
french
fries. Fix capitalization
French
Additionally
, overweight people may lose confidence, face social problems, and find it difficult to move or exercise, which makes their situation even worse.
In conclusion, it seems to me that governments should take a step-by-step Linking Words
to
prevent these Check wording
approach to
kind
of fast Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
foods
, because it will Use synonyms
climb
diseases and increase bad appearance.Verb problem
lead to
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Plan your essay. State your view in the first line. Then add two or three main ideas with a short example for each. End with a brief rest of your view.
coherence
Use simple links to show order and help the reader. Use words like first, next, also, but to connect ideas.
task response
The writer shows a clear view in the opening sentence.
coherence
There are examples to back the points, which helps support ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite