IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates to get better job, other belief there are much wider benefits of university education for both indivisual and society. Discuss views and give your opinion

Education
Use synonyms
 holds
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paramount significance in shaping a nation's future. A section of society thinks that the main motive of higher
education
Use synonyms
 is to assist
scholers
Correct your spelling
scholars
 to embrace a tremendous
job
Use synonyms
 opportunity, others
emphasize
Change the spelling
emphasise
show examples
 that the
advantageous
Replace the word
advantages
show examples
 of university
education
Use synonyms
 are much broader for graduates and society. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 higher
education
Use synonyms
 helps both a person and the community in which they live.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
viewpoints. On the one side, learners can get the
job
Use synonyms
 of their choice with the help of
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 is because most multinational companies
demand for
Verb problem
require
show examples
 a professional
degree
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 a
well paid
Use the right word
well-paid
show examples
job
Use synonyms
. These companies work with foreign clients, so recruiting an employee with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 professional
degree
Use synonyms
 makes a big difference for the status of the company.
For example
Linking Words
, a study was conducted by Oxford University in 2022 in which they revealed that the chances of graduates
to get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 better
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 with
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
 are 80% more as compared to with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 school
education
Use synonyms
. On the other side, higher
education
Use synonyms
 not only assists an individual towards
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future, but
also
Linking Words
 makes them a kind person. Masses with higher
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 often get life experiences
while
Linking Words
studing
Correct your spelling
studying
 at universities, which makes them better human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. They learn
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
 effective and valuable lessons of life.
For instance
Linking Words
, people achieve all the qualities of a leader who will be a responsible citizen of the country
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
disciplane
Correct your spelling
discipline
, co-operation and hard work.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, people learn to value each other because higher
education
Use synonyms
 comes with
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
show examples
 view of life
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
 makes them
realize
Change the spelling
realise
show examples
 the worth of others. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 learners can get splendid opportunities
due to
Linking Words
professional
Correct article usage
a professional
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
, the experience
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they get during their university is a real treasure that makes them
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 best version of themselves.

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structure
Use clear topic sentences to start each paragraph and keep ideas on track.
grammar
Fix spelling and grammar, especially common errors like 'scholars', 'studying', 'discipline'.
coherence
Make easy links between ideas with simple phrases like 'also', 'for example', 'in addition'.
content
Give more clear reasons for each point and add more simple examples to back them up.
content
The essay shows a view on both sides and a clear position.
coherence
Some linking words are used to connect ideas.
evidence
An example from a real place is given.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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