IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the chart below shows the percentage of people in a city in the UK using the internet for different activities in 2007 and 2009.

the chart below shows the percentage of people in a city in the UK using the internet for different activities in 2007 and 2009.
the
Fix capitalization
The
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tahble
Correct your spelling
table
 chart
compairs
Correct your spelling
compares
 the proportion of individuals in
a
Correct article usage
apply
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one of
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
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 using the network for some activities in 2007 and 2009
Linking Words
overall
Fix capitalization
Overall
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, people mostly use
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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 for
shoping
Correct your spelling
shopping
 in both years,
while
Linking Words
 using
Correct article usage
the inrennet
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inrennet
Correct your spelling
internet
 for
TV
Use synonyms
 is the most unpopular in 2007
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
2007
Punctuation problem
2007,
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 45% of UK livers used the internet for shopping, and it was the leading internet activity. Banking was
second
Correct article usage
the second
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 leading
oportinity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
, and it took 40%
ofg
Correct your spelling
of
 all. Music had the same proportion of users as
bankihg
Correct your spelling
banking
, 39%. Gaming, learning and
Use synonyms
Tv
Use the right word
TV
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has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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the
Rephrase
nearly the
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nearely
Rephrase
apply
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same percentage of users,20% for
gamind
Correct your spelling
gaming
 and learning, but
TV
Use synonyms
 was more unpopular than them and took 15%.
in
Fix capitalization
In
show examples
2009
Punctuation problem
2009,
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 shopping
still was
Correct word order
was still
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 leading and
also
Linking Words
 increased to 5%, and became 50%. Banking had a small decrease, and now it is 35%
, music
Punctuation problem
. Music
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also
Linking Words
 decreased
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 not to 5%, to 9%.
while
Linking Words
 job
seaking
Correct your spelling
seeking
 increased
to again
Correct word order
again to
show examples
 5%, and became 30%. games stay at
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 20%.
Use synonyms
tv
Use the right word
TV
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 increased and now
stay
Correct subject-verb agreement
stays
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 at
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 20% as games.
Linking Words
in
Fix capitalization
In
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contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
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 learning
decresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
, became
same
Correct article usage
the same
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with
Use the right word
as the TV
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tv
Use synonyms
 user percentage
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 2009. in summary

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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